Stop Asking Me To Find A Boyfriend

Sophia Sinclair
Sophia Sinclair

Stop asking me to find a boyfriend. Seriously. 

Stop telling me which online apps are the best ones to find the right kind of guy. Stop telling me to go out on the weekends in order to find my soulmate. Stop telling me I’m too pretty to be single.  Stop asking me if I’m lonely on the nights I spend alone. Stop worrying about my well-being, please.

Did it ever occur to anybody, that sometimes, people want to be single?
And that sometimes, people enjoy the single life and they don’t want to go on a man hunt every weekend?

Did it ever occur to anybody, that most single people actually love their lives? That they are in fact, the happiest they have ever been? Did it ever occur to anybody, that single people don’t need someone else to make them happy?

I stay home on weekdays, not because I live a sad and depressing life but, because I genuinely enjoy spending time alone. And I thrive off of my own energy. I don’t like to get hammered in bars anymore like I did in college. And it’s not because I don’t like to have fun, my idea of fun has just changed. And somedays, I get dressed up and spend hours on my makeup. Is that to get attention from men? No, it’s to feel confident in myself. 

For anyone that is telling their single friends that they need to start dating, please stop. We don’t need your opinion. We don’t need your free therapy. We don’t need therapy at all actually. We just need to live our beautiful single lives, without people badgering us.

Stop telling us to settle down. Stop looking at us with worried expressions written on your faces. Stop shaking our head at us when we decide to stay in on a Saturday night. We aren’t opposed to having a partner. We aren’t opposed to getting boyfriends or girlfriends. We just want to do it without help.

And we want to do it in our own time, and in our own pace.

We don’t need dating apps or blind dates. We just want to live our lives freely, until someone walks through the door and makes us stop dead in our tracks. We don’t want advice on how to talk to boys in bars. We know how to flirt. We just don’t want to. We don’t want to try so hard. And we don’t need to.

So, to everyone who keeps telling me to get a boyfriend: I know you are just being caring and want what is best for me, but kindly f*** off. I’ll find the right person for me, when it is the right time.

Us single folk, don’t need anyone’s help. And we most certainly do not want to be anyone’s charity case. We can happily take care of ourselves, thank you very much. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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