This Is Why I Stopped Giving People The Benefit Of The Doubt

Natalie Allen
Natalie Allen

I used to be the kind of person who fully believed in giving everyone the benefit the doubt. I thought, why not assume that everyone is good? Why not assume that everyone has pure intentions?

But sometimes, this type of thinking can backfire. For instance, one of my best friends betrayed me. Many guys have done me wrong. People can do others wrong, and there’s nothing that will stop them.

But truth be told, that wasn’t any of their faults. It was my fault for trusting them in full force, head on, with no questions. It was my fault for believing them when I honestly had no reason to. It was my fault for going against my gut because I just had to believe that they would never hurt me.

But, what I have come to find is that some people will hurt you no matter what.

And you are going to get burned so many times in your lifetime. We will all be betrayed by a loved one at one point in our lives. We will all get our hearts broken by someone who we thought was our forever.

I have come to finally realize that not everyone is going to like me. Just how not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to want to be your friend. Not everyone is going to fall in love with you, and not everyone is going to have good intentions when it comes to your well being.

I’m not saying I’m not going to trust people anymore. I’m not saying everyone is bad. But when I get a bad feeling in my stomach, or have a hunch that something is off, I am going to listen to that instinct.

I’m not going to shrug them off and continue on. I’m not going to ignore what is smacking me straight in the face.

Don’t put yourself in harms way just because you want to believe that every single person out there in this world is good. Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation just because you assume this person has good intentions. Don’t let your mind guide you when your heart is shouting “no”. Don’t ignore yourself when your heart keeps racing at unfamiliar speeds.

Giving people the benefit of the doubt is not a terrible thing to do. In fact it’s incredibly admirable. But, only do this when your gut instinct feels ok. Only do this if you feel safe. Only do this when you know for a fact that you feel comfortable with this person. 

I want to believe that everyone is good. I want to believe that no one is out to hurt me. I want to believe that no one would want to ever harm me. But there are people out there who won’t take no for an answer. There are people out there who want to hurt you just like you hurt them.

There are people out there who play with fire just for the sake of the thrill.

I’ve been burned too many times to keep ignoring my true feelings. I’ve been hurt too many times to trust a stranger with my whole heart. So, I’m done ignoring me. It’s time to start actually listening. It’s time to start paying attention to yourself now. It’s time to hear yourself out. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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