I’m Not Easy To Love, But I’ll Always Love Hard

I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not easy to love. I’m too loud. I talk too much when I’m nervous. Or I’m too shy to even give you a glance. I’m awfully awkward. I laugh at things that aren’t funny. I say jokes that most definitely aren’t funny.

I’m the worst at first dates. They kind of make me want to throw up. I don’t know how to do small talk. I constantly worry about things no normal person worries about. I sometimes have panic attacks. I take anti-anxiety meds. I’m kind of just one big of a mess of a person.

But if you love me, I’ll be your big mess. And you’ll be mine.

I have to let you know though, I’m super sensitive. I can cry at the drop of a hat if I hear a hint of annoyance in your voice. I get scared. I fret about my future. And how my future will look with your future in it. Sometimes, I will be so annoying, that you’ll need to take a walk. Sometimes, I’ll cry for no reason at all.

But, the thing about me is, I will love you so incredibly hard.

I will listen to your anxieties and your worries. I will listen to you when you yell about what’s bothering you at work. I will listen to you when you tell me you need your space. And I will listen to you when you tell me that you love me. 

I’m never going to take your love for granted. If there’s one thing I know in this world, I know that love can leave. Love can fall apart. Love can go away. So for the time when we are together, I will love you with all of the cells in my soul. I will cherish your company, and will always let you know that I’m not going anywhere. I will let you know that I am yours for taking.

I am hard to love. I am impossibly crazy. But I know, that when I do love, I will give you my all. I will always give you 100%. I won’t let you down because I know what it’s like to get let down. I won’t let you g because I know what it;s like to be let go of.. I won’t let you change your mind about me.

Because I know, that you deserve big love. You deserve the biggest love in the world.

And despite my flaws, I can give that to you. I can give you what you need and what you want. I won’t always do the right things, or say the right words, but I will always know that I love you. And I will always know that if I’m with you, then I’m ok. And I’m a little more stable. And a little more sane.

I will always love hard. And I won’t apologize for that. I won’t ever apologize for loving too much. This world needs a little more love in it. We all do.