How To Kick Ass At Being Single AF

Once you finally realize that you can be your truest and happiest self without being involved with another person, you'll get to be alone without being lonely. And you'll actually like it.

By

“Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” ~ Unknown

Giving up the notion that you need another person alongside you for you to be your happiest self, is such a foreign idea for some people. But, being single can be empowering as f***. Once you finally realize that you can be your truest and happiest self without being involved with another person, you’ll get to be alone without being lonely. And you’ll actually like it.

1. Fall in love with yourself. This time, you get to fall without fear of someone letting you break in half. Being single will allow you to fall in love with your passions and let your passions love you right back. Fall deep into what makes you tick, what lights you up, and what makes your heart beat faster. And this time, you get to guard your own heart.

2. Plan things exclusively for yourself. Congratulations! You now get to experience adventures with the company of just yourself. You get the luxury of not having to fret about another person’s schedule, or to wonder why they didn’t show up at all. You don’t have to listen to someone whine about how they hate your hobbies, or hate your taste of music. Now, you get to dance all you want, listen to bad music all you want, and go out to eat all you want with no nagging guaranteed.

3. Dive into your friendships. Want something fun to do on a Friday night? Plan a girls night and get all dressed up without the pressure of looking perfect for a date or a guy. Being single will allow you to tighten your relationships with your friends and family and you’ll get to have fun without having anyone telling you what to do.

4. Cherish your life. You get the chance to run your own life without having a partner judge you. Make your own mistakes. Mess up by yourself. Screw up on your own. Then, learn from it, grow from it and survive. You’re in charge of your own life and the only person you need to take care of, is you.

5. Learn how to be alone without needing anything else. In relationships, people tend to get used to never being alone. In fact, some people can’t stand the thought of being without their significant other and can’t stand by themselves. You have the luxury of never needing anyone besides you. While others grasp at each other for strength, you have found it on your own.

6. When you are in your next relationship, you’ll finally be ready. A lot of people I know, feel the need to be in relationships in order to feel safe and to feel adored. Since you already have spent time alone with yourself, you know you won’t need anyone else to be happy with. And when you do find who you are looking for, you won’t need them for anything more than just to love you.

7. If a relationships ends, you will have the strength to know you’ll be ok. You have already prepared for this. You know you can stand on your own two feet and not sway. You already put yourself as your main priority. You will survive.

This life is about taking care of yourself, and not worrying about what another person wants. It’s about being whole and loving your wholeness. It’s about owning who you are and not backing down when people give you “love advice”. You are allowed to be single and love it. You are allowed to not want anyone else to adore you, because you already adore yourself. Being single allows you to get to know yourself without having another person telling you who you are. You finally get to experience life on your own terms.

“You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.” ~ Jo Courdert Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

The only Thought Catalog Books sale of the year is finally live…

Wherever this season finds you—celebrating, reflecting, or simply slowing down—we hope our books help you embrace each moment and carry a little hope and healing into the new year.

Use BLACKFRIDAY24 at checkout for 15% off our entire catalog of books and other creative goods.