How To Forgive The One Who Broke You

Tony Ciampa
Tony Ciampa

Forgiveness. It’s especially hard to forgive someone who you gave your whole heart to. It seems almost impossible to forgive the one who took your heart and smashed it with their bare hands. The person who left you shattered and didn’t even look back.

It’s so difficult to do, but it will ultimately set you free.

It’s normal to feel terribly angry at the person who you fought for for so long and who decided to let you go. But, think about it this way. If you forgive him, it’s not about him anymore. It’s about healing your heart, and ultimately, you’ll start to not carry the weight of him on your shoulders anymore.

Forgiveness does not mean that you won’t have days of anger and sadness. It just means you have accepted that other person’s decision. If he decided to leave, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

Accepting that you can’t change the past and accepting the way he handled things, just means you are closer to your own clarity.

Forgiving him won’t make you less sad. But it might make you able to release more emotions you never realized you had about it. And the more you will feel, the easier it will be to heal. It’s not going to be a magical revelation, but it will be a way for you to come to terms with your own sadness and your own feelings.

Sometimes after so much anger is built up, forgiving someone feels like a breath of fresh air. Suddenly, you feel a little lighter, a little more in control, and a little cleaner. It feels good to tell someone, “look, you did this awful thing to me, but I forgive you”. It feels empowering to say, “I forgive you for breaking me because you gave me the power to build myself up without you”. It feels better to say “I forgive you”, than to say “I will never forgive you”.

Forgiving someone is not forgetting what they did.

It’s not erasing them entirely from your mind. It’s finding peace in your heart that this other person is on their own journey. And maybe you weren’t meant to be in it. And if you were, than it is their loss and their problem to deal with.

Forgiving someone will not take away your heartache. It won’t stop your tears. It won’t silence your cries. It will just give you a better understanding of who you are, and who he once was. The acceptance of what has already happened, is tragically beautiful. It gives you the power to finally let go. And to finally start healing and stitch your sweet soul back together. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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