He Left You, But Please Don’t Let Him Destroy You

istockphoto.com / Kiuikson
istockphoto.com / Kiuikson

You were a happy person before you met the guy who broke your heart. You didn’t need anyone to save you. You didn’t need anyone to comfort you. You just needed yourself.

You were a whole person before knowing him. And you’re going to be whole again. It’s just going to take time and patience and hard work.

I know that he left you. Maybe he cheated on you. Or maybe he gave up on you. Maybe you gave up on him. But, whatever it was doesn’t even matter anymore.

What matters is how you are right now and how you are going to build yourself back up. Without him.

I know you’re screaming at the screen, asking yourself how in the world will I build myself up? This writer doesn’t know shit!  But, I do. I know what’s it like to have your heart smashed into million pieces. I know what it’s like to feel so small and like you don’t matter to anyone. I know what it’s like to love a guy so much that you forget how to love yourself. And how when he leaves, you just feel like a ghost of who you once were.

If you let this sad excuse of a man destroy you, he wins. He wins your heart and also wins your broken heart. He gets all the credit. And he will take the badge and run off again. If you let this guy win, you’ll turn into someone  you don’t even recognize. You’ll turn into that girl everyone pities. The one who can’t get out of bed anymore because her ex boyfriend left.

I was once that girl. For a minute there, I thought I had lost myself. I was so obsessed with this guy who left me, that I didn’t care about myself anymore. And that is very dangerous state of mind. So, how did I finally get out of that funk and not let him destroy me anymore?

Time. Patience. Acceptance. And ultimately forgiveness. Listen, I know you don’t think you are ever going to smile again, to laugh again, and to love another guy as much as you loved him but, in time, you will. I was right there with you a few years ago. I thought I had nothing to live for. But you do.

You need to live for you. And put yourself first please, for the first time in your life, put yourself first.

Be gentle with yourself. Tomorrow may be just as bad as today was. But slowly, month by month, you’re going to smile again. You’re going to laugh again. You’re going to fall in love again. Start thinking of yourself as a whole person instead of someone who just got destroyed. Start thinking of all the things you love about yourself. And think about all of the positive things and people that you still have in your life.

Your life is far from over. I hope you believe that. And I hope you know that this guy who tried to destroy you is not even worth a second of your time.

It’s his loss. It’s not yours. You’re going to gain yourself back. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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  • http://mindyourwings.wordpress.com mindyourwings

    Nice!1

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