1. Don’t you dare come out with me in that outfit, you look like Britney Spears in 2007.
2. I’m sorry but, he’s out of your league.
3. Wait, you like him? He looks like a twelve year old boy.
4. You are way too drunk right now and it’s not cute.
5. Neon pink is not your color, so I did you a favor and threw out all your lipsticks.
6. I know you want to cut class, but your GPA is going down the drain as we speak.
7. If you listen to that song one more time, I’m moving out.
8. If you text your ex again, I’m kidnapping your phone and calling your mom.
9. The way you curled your hair tonight makes your head look hella big.
10. I love you but I don’t love your boyfriend.
11. If you want to get healthier, you really need to stop eating so many Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
12. You can’t go out tonight because you already had four shots and your tolerance is zero.
13. I can see why you never wear yellow. Do you want to borrow one of my shirts tonight? Actually that’s not a question, it’s an order.
14. I’m not going to lie to you, you snore in your sleep.
15. You’re going to have to get a new comforter if you ever want to get laid. Also you need to hide your stuffed animals.
16. Being your best friend is hard work. Last time we went to a bowling event, you bowled in the wrong lane because you had one too many beers. I couldn’t even save you from that disaster.
17. You know how Kim Kardashian has an ugly face when she cries? You kinda have that same face too.
18. Remember last year when you liked that boy who treated you like crap? Let’s not repeat that again.
19. I’m sending you a winged eyeliner tutorial. Truthfully, I should’ve done this a long time ago.
20. I hate to tell you, but you still have a crust on your eyes from last night. Oh, and you should blow your nose. Have you even looked in the mirror lately?
21. I’m finding you a boyfriend. I’m tired of hearing you sobbing while watching “The Notebook”.
22. That Instagram you just posted? Delete it.
23. I only suggested we get pedicures together because your feet are literally cracking.
24. You were right, those highlights really are disastrous.
25. Every time you drive me somewhere I pray for our lives. Did you even take driving lessons? Maybe you should schedule one.
26. I love you, but you deserve more. You’re just too oblivious to realize it.