Repeat After Me: Stop. Following. Your. Ex. On. Social. Media.

Anna Demianenko
Anna Demianenko

Everyone thinks of their ex from time to time. It’s human nature to be curious about where they are in their lives and what new things they are up to. But, sometimes when it’s a fresh breakup and you find yourself ten weeks deep into their Instagram and are thinking about liking that picture, please don’t double tap that.

Social media makes it very difficult for people these days to get over their exes. On Facebook, you see their new pictures and statuses pop up all the time, and on Twitter you see their posts and wonder if that tweet was really about you (probably). Their life is so easily accessible that suddenly, you find yourself at 2:00am stalking all the pictures you have with them. And you find yourself missing those times with this person. And you find yourself wanting them all over again. And that’s when things can get dangerous.

I’m no expert on breakups. To be honest, I suck at them and avoid any sort of confrontation that breakups can bring. I also tend to stalk them as soon as it’s over, hunting for proof that maybe they still care about me. I will waste time re-reading our messages and texts. On Facebook, I will go through pictures and memories we had shared together. And don’t even get me started on the dreaded drunk texts and calls that you will always regret doing.

It’s a terrible cycle that feels unbreakable because it’s so easy to do and it’s so satisfying in a sick kind of way. But in all reality, stalking your ex will always make you feel like shit. It will always make you question your self-worth and make you wonder what you could’ve done differently or if there was something you could’ve said to patch things up. It will break your heart all over again when you see your ex look at someone new the way they used to look at you. It will make you consume too much wine on lonely nights as you dive into your past and forget to come up for air. And this is how you stop:

Block them. On everything. And anything. It sounds harsh, and unnecessary but, it is truly the only thing that will help you finally let go of the sadness and pain that breakups bring. When they aren’t easily accessible on all of your social media platforms, you will soon start going to bed at night and not feel the urge to see what they are up to. When you don’t see their pictures pop up everywhere on your newsfeed, you will start to adapt to a life without them. And it will start feeling good. And you will start feeling better about yourself and your life as a whole because you are free from that person and free from that part of your past.

So, if you have recently been spending nights more often than not finding yourself obsessing over your past and dwelling over what should’ve been, it is time to move on. Please do yourself a favor and click that block button. Your future self will thank you greatly and your ex will probably be thankful too. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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