It Feels Like It Will Never Happen, But You Will Get Over Them

Mary McDonald
Mary McDonald

I never thought I would be able to get over my ex. Ever. And maybe that sounds dramatic to some people, but for the people out there who have split up with their “person” or their “one true love” you understand what I mean.

Falling in love at a young age is both a blessing and a curse. You have the ability to grow with another human being but also have the ability to grow apart from them. You have the opportunity to share your life with someone, but also the scary truth that sometimes you may only share a portion of it with them. Now add attending different colleges to the equation, and things can get messy and scary very quickly.

For over four years, I truly believed that I had found my soul mate. Call me naïve all you want, but I one hundred percent thought we were going to be together until death do us part, sickness and in health and all that jazz. Young love seems like the most powerful thing in the world when you’re experiencing it and you really feel like nothing will ever break that bond. But sometimes, no matter how strong that love is, it breaks and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Cue to the day where I am a heartbroken mess of a person being spoon fed by my roommate. (Yeah, I know, it was really bad). During that breakup, I felt like there was no way I could ever get my life back together. There was no way I was going to be happy again. And no one could convince me that there were other “fish in the sea” because I truly did not believe that no one would ever understand me the way he did. And I honestly never believed anyone would ever love me as hard as he did.

And that was my flaw. I was focusing on my relationship with him, not on my relationship with myself. I was focusing on my future relationships, not on my own personal future. And it took me a very long time to learn that I had lost a part of myself with that relationship because my “whole” self was only with him. And I had let another person dictate my own happiness.

Not too long ago, I saw a picture of him come up on my newsfeed. And, finally, it didn’t effect me. Just. Like. That.

It didn’t happen fast or easily for me, but it finally happened. And that was the moment I realized I was over him. Finally, finally after days and months of feeling like I would never run out of tears for him and that I would never appreciate my life in the same way, my sadness seemed to vanish. And it was one of the best feelings I have ever experienced.

So, if you are struggling with a breakup and feel overwhelmed with grief, I hope you know that one day you are going to wake up and be okay. One day you are going to wake up and realize you are over them. And it’s going to feel like the first day of Spring and you are going to feel so alive, so relieved and so free.

Free from the pain of it all, the stress of it all and the toll it took on you for so long. I promise you, one day you aren’t going to be tied down to that person anymore, and you are going to be happy just with yourself. I hope you realize on that day how special you are and realize that you can be whole without another human being by your side. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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