20 Ways To Get Someone To Really FALL For You

1. Splash around in leaves, and conveniently forget that you’ll spend the next 3 days in a crazed state waiting for them to text back.

2. Go for a hayride. Try not to think about that first message he sent on Tinder, and that he probably did this exact same thing last week with another girl.

3. Drink pumpkin cider at a Beergarden. Get drunk enough to make a decision you didn’t intend on making.

4. Go shopping for a nice new pullover, that you’ll never be able to wear by the time next fall rolls around because the breakup will be too fresh.

5. Apply to be a Fall Boyfriend.

6. Go to a haunted house with your significant other. Leave them in the haunted house, and feel rather awful when you realize they were actually very freaked out, and now think a lot less of you as a person.

7. Send a Facebook message to the girl you took to the homecoming dance. Start the message with the a trusty “I know we haven’t spoken in six years, but…”

8. Play a game of touch football at the park, so that she could see your extremely unflattering hyper-competitive side.

9. Go canoeing. Show him how much fun you are when you spend a whole day being cold, damp, and really thirsty.

10. Invite her over for a quality night in, in which you are completely unflexible about the movie choice — despite acting like you’re “cool with anything.”

11. Go to a concert in the park. Show her how fun you can be whilst paranoid that the week you just smoked was laced with ricin.

12. Bake an apple pie together. Ensure that it explodes all over the oven, creating hours of cleanup that forces him to miss the Jets game.

13. Plan a romantic picnic. Fail to realize that she’s extremely allergic to pine nuts.

14. Fail to meet the proper requirements necessary for being a Fall Boyfriend.

15. Spend hours making him a mixtape. Ensure that the first song is actually the song that he and his last girlfriend (of 5 years) bonded over the first night they hooked up.

16. Go to a corn maze. Temporarily morph one of those awful heathens who vandalizes corn mazes.

17. Go to your town’s local fall festival. Fall in love amidst the amorous backdrop of manufactured nostalgia and commercialism.

18. Take her to a playoff baseball game. Bond romantically by watching her scroll through instagram the whole time.

19. Carve a pumpkin together. Tell your potential significant other that the jack-o-lantern sort of looks like them.

20. Show up at their door with $500 worth of Pumpkin Spice Lattes, the entirety of which they must finish in one sitting.