10 Things Guys Say When They’re Not Into You

Earlier today, I read this insightful and well-done piece by Diana Macau about the things women say when they’re not into you. I figured it’d be good to a derivative (word I learned in high school calculus, and am now applying to the real world) article, focusing on the things guys say when they’re not into you. Hopefully, this will provide some minor insight into the thought process of a guy who’s much more devoted to Jerry Bruckheimer movies than he is a potential relationship:

1. Nothing.

Us dudes are amazing at saying nothing. If we say nothing, it’s not a good sign for the welfare of the relationship. Especially if the nothing comes in the form of a handwritten letter.

2. “I’m still not over my ex.”

Sometimes this is true. From what I’ve found, guys are actual humans with actual feelings, and can struggle with overcoming a past relationship just like any other types of human. Of course however, this is a very convenient lie and will definitely be utilized in order to avoid the hard, blunt truth.

3. “You deserve better than me.”

This is a tricky one — it’s honest and authentic in many ways, but it’s really just a cleverly crafted way of saying “I’m capable of a lot more than I’m giving you, but I’m saving that up for someone I really care about.”

Though at the same time it’s an extremely fair and possibly noble statement, in the sense that the dude is implying that he doesn’t feel right denying you the chance to find someone who will give the relationship their all — staying in the pseudo-relationship would be the wrong course of action for all parties.

4. “I’d love to meet your parents, it’s just that The Rock is on and it’s my favorite movie.”

Note that he’s not being a dick here. He probably recognizes how much of a crucial moment meeting your parents is, and if he’s stayed with you long enough to get to the parents-meeting point, he’s clearly somewhat committed.

Alas, skipping TNT’s showing of The Rock might be too forward at sign in the early stages of a relationship — he’s definitely pretty committed, but to be that committed?

5. “I’ve got a lot of stuff coming up at work.”

In other words, he’s too busy keeping up with his insanely demanding g-chat schedule to develop and maintain any substantial feelings for you.

Out of all these, points, this is the most clear sign he’s not into you. People are definitely busy at work (as confirmed by reliable flow of #grind-related Facebook statuses), but even if you’re working till midnight, if you were really into the ‘ship you’d want nothing more to head over to your s/o’s place to unwind — just as much emotionally as physically.

6. “I’d definitely be down to go pumpkin picking with you four months from now…the only thing is that I have to make sure it doesn’t conflict with my weekly ritual of watching The Rock.”

Again, he’s probably into the apple picking four months from now — given that this is a very innocuous activity, and because the key to maintaining a casual relationship is to talk about the distant future like you’re definitely gonna still be together.

That said, if he skips The Rock he may as well be asking you if you want to move in.

7. “I’m just not used to hanging out with someone every day haha. It’s intimidating lol.”

A few weeks ago, I witnessed the slow demise of a casual relationship via text. The dude seemed to want to address the issue in person, but the “so what are?”-esque nature of the girl’s questions forced him into a hole in which he had to somewhat show his cards.

Smartly though, he softened the blow of his honest statements by saying “haha” and “lol” — thus confirming that he’s not in fact a monster.

8.  “It’s Not You … It’s the iconic performance of Sean Connery in one of the most pulsating action thrillers of the 90s.”

Cheesy and cliche, but for a reason. The truth to this statement is undeniable.

9. “I just don’t think this is going anywhere.”

Obviously this is rare and a little crazy. But there are in fact, times when statements do not have any hidden meanings or agendas, and can in fact be taken for face value.

10.” You can knock on Nicolas Cage all you want, but don’t you dare say anything negative about Stanley Goodspeed”.

Among other things, the point of this article is to demonstrate that if he’d rather spend time with you than watch one of the greatest movies ever made, he’s into you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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