10 Signs You Should Stop Talking To Your Ex
3. The chances of you two being in the same place are as unlikely as ordering a burrito that contains an evenly distributed amount of rice, beans, and meat.
By 
Lance Pauker
1. Upon receiving a text from your ex, you immediately devolve into a version of your previous self that you somewhat hate. You begin crafting a response to match the caliber of his or her text, only to remember that your ex hates Mexican food. Having now been on dates with those who enjoy Mexican food, you realize this wasn’t one of those things you should sacrifice.
2. You’ve hooked up with your ex a few times post-relationship. Each time, you’ve left with a terrible aftertaste in your mouth– an aftertaste even worse than the one that comes with that horrific brand of store-bought guacamole.
3. He or she lives very far away from you and neither of you have any intention of reuniting. The chances of you two being in the same place are as unlikely as ordering a burrito that contains an evenly distributed amount of rice, beans, and meat.
4. Every time you talk to them, you have half a mind to let loose and berate them for everything that went wrong. You’re very tempted to do this, but then never do — kind of like how you always say you’re gonna get the barbacoa, but then always end up getting the chicken.
5. He or she cheated on you, and you know you’ll never be able to get over it.
6. He or she is responsible for your alcohol problem, and interacting with them will likely trigger a relapse.
7. There’s no fire in your interactions. No sizzle. Your interactions the opposite of that chip with the particularly hot spice — the one that turns your face all red and makes you immediately chug all your water.
8. Although your relationship was relatively satisfying and enjoyable, thinking about your ex consistently makes you feel empty. This particularly bothers you — the relationship seemed to be perfect on paper, and you can’t figure out why it just fell a little bit short. The whole thing is as troubling as a taco place that tells you two tacos are definitely enough.
9. You’re fully aware of the fact that continued interaction with your ex is a slippery slope, one that has a pretty good chance of ending in disaster. All in all, it’s just about as dangerous as vigorously tapping that habanero sauce container.
10. Dating them completely ruined a certain genre of food for you. You found this to be incredibly obnoxious, and slightly pathetic. I mean, how much could someone possibly talk about Pad Thai? 
