1. He’s in limbo
As much as relationships or longer “things” are about mutual attraction, they’re also incredibly circumstantial. Could just be he’s not over his ex — maybe he just found out she’s newly single, wants to take a shot, and doesn’t yet realize how much he’ll regret this play.
If a dude’s thinking that way, probably not the right time for a ‘ship anyhow.
2. You live too far away
If you’re in the same city — but a 40 minute subway ride away — you’re essentially in a long distance relationship. Early on, this could be a dealbreaker.
3. You swirled the onions around in the guacamole
Over the weekend I watched the James Gandolfini/Julia Louis Dreyfus collab, Enough Said. The movie dealt a lot with weird personal habits that make or break relationships — Gandolfini’s ex-wife for example, couldn’t handle the way he swirled the guacamole around in order — the sort of minor detail that accentuated the fact that they were wholly incompatible.
Perhaps, to no fault of your own, there was already a guacamole moment.
4. He wants to “play the field”
As in, go to the bar next weekend, strike out, and then text you in drunken desperation in hopes that won’t be too pissed off.
If this is the reason, there’s a 55% chance you’ll end up with the upper hand.
5. Your “kissing compatibility” is off
If you followed the highly entertaining Jennette McCurdy/Andre Drummond mini-feud of last week, you’ll know that McCurdy somewhat got the ball rolling by saying how she thought Drummond was a bad kisser.
While this may seem like something only 12 year-olds should take seriously, I totally agree with McCurdy’s rationale. Kissing happens way more often than sex or anything else. If it’s intolerable this early on, time to commence the slow fade.
6. You’re pressing
I think the “girl being aggressive to guy” thing is a great move — particularly in regards to #shybros who are a bit more hesitant to put themselves out there. Like anything else though, there’s a limit.
Overaggressiveness oftentimes completely kills the mystique, and is very much like the person in gym class who sprinted during the first lap of the mile, only to finish in the middle of the pack. S’all about pacing. Don’t always be the one who’s texting him.
7. He thinks you’re not into him
Freshman year, I started talking to this girl I had a thing for — we had a class together, hooked up once, and when our class ended I realized I wanted to continue hanging out with her. We ended up going to a party together, then a lunch date. At the end of the lunch, she made a comment that I interpreted as “I like you, but don’t want this go further.”
I took this as clear rejection, and didn’t really talk to her until a few months later, when she asked why I stopped texting. Probably not the most entertaining example, but it’s the one that fits here so you’ll have to deal with it. You’re already at #7, so at this point you may as well see this thing through.
8. Differing expectations
I think this is more and more of a thing, particularly as “hookup culture” progress via the ambiguities of apps like Tinder — whereas a dude might be Tindering with zero intention to “meet someone,” a girl might be playing it differently.
Of course, intentions ultimately don’t really mean much (if it’s going great, there’s no reason to stop), but they can create a severe miscommunication right off the bat.
9. His phone died for three hours
And he actually very much wants to text you. I know three hours sounds crazy, but don’t panic. Yet.