From the blockbusters to the critically acclaimed, movies, despite now costing upwards of way too much money, have a very profound impact on #culture. It’s very helpful to know what’s going on in the world of Hollywood, given that this now seems to be a weird way to one-up your friends in conversation. Simply name drop an actor or director’s upcoming project, and all of a sudden you’ve become an acceptable human being.

Below is a primer of a wide range of more notable releases, due out in the first half of 2014 — for those of you keeping score at home, titles that will be released between January and June. I would’ve specified that in the title, but it would’ve gotten confusing and confusion makes people less prone to clicking. Also, the artwork/trailers/movie shots pretty much ran out by August, so the format would’ve been all whack. Anyway…

1. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (Chill Horror)

Partygoers discover items associated with black magic rituals and the missing tapes for Paranormal Activity 3. One of the partygoers wakes up to find a strange bite on his arm, and along with it, inexplicable, uncontrollable powers.

Starring: Andrew Jacobs, Molly Ephraim

Perfect For: A 16 year-old dude looking to ensure that the girl he likes squeezes his hand the entire time.

Release Date: January 3rd

2. Lone Survivor  (Brotherhood Action Drama)

Based on June 28, 2005 mission “Operation Red Wings,” a failed SEAL operation to capture and kill a Taliban leader.

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Ben Foster, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch, Eric Bana

Perfect For: The movie is a passion project for director Pete Berg, who did Battleship so he could direct this. Reviews note that the movie is very “real” and doesn’t shy away from the more uncomfortable realities of war, while underscoring the unprecedented magnitude of the group’s fierce brotherhood.

Berg is also the creator of the TV series Friday Night Lights, which despite living in a completely different setting, tackles similar themes of brotherhood.

Release Date: January 10th

3. That Awkward Moment (Bromantic Comedy)

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Three guys make a vow to stay single to help one of the friends get over a recent breakup–a task that proves to be much harder than they initially thought.

Starring: Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller, Imogen Poots, Addison Timlin

Perfect For: People who are in their 20s, click on articles about dating, and talk about how the current dating climate is different than it used to be.

Release Date: January 31st

4. Labor Day (Romantic Hostage Drama)

A depressed single mother and her son give a wounded man a ride, who convinces them into letting him stay with them. As they begin to form a bond, the family slowly begins to discover the man’s harrowing story.

Starring: Kate Winslet

Perfect For: This movie, from Juno director Jason Reitman, is being coined as a “romantic hostage-drama.” If it works, it could be one of those rare movies that works for both guys and girls.

Release Date: January 31st (Nationwide)

5. The Lego Movie (Awesome Legos)

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An ordinary an ordinary minifigure named Emmet (Chris Pratt) is mistaken as being the last living Master Builder — the only one who can save the LEGO universe.

Starring: Chris Pratt, Will Ferrell, Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Elizabeth Banks, Alison Brie, Liam Neeson, Nick Offerman, Charlie Day, Colbie Smulders (All Voice)

Perfect For: Everyone. Who doesn’t love Legos?

Release Date: February 7th

6. The Monuments Men (WWII Adventure Drama)

The Monuments Men is the true story of an allied platoon made up of seven museum directors, curators, and art historians tasked with rescuing artworks requisitioned by the Nazis, and returning them to their rightful owners.

Starring: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, John Goodman

Perfect For: History buffs and art lovers who also liked the Ocean’s movies.

Release Date: February 10th

7. About Last Night (Valentine’s Day Rom-Com)

A one night stand cedes to a relationship, which unexpectedly grows and becomes put to the test in public. A remake of the 1986 movie, About Last Night…

Starring: Kevin Hart, Regina Hall, Joy Bryant, Michael Ealy

Perfect For: Valentine’s Day movie. Either About Last Night, or this movie, which kinda scares me.

Release Date: February 14

8. 300: Rise Of An Empire (Greek Bros)

The sequel to ‘300,’ Rise Of An Empire focuses on a naval engagement called the Battle of Artemisium, that was conducted at the same time of the battle of Thermopylae, which were fought between an alliance of Greek City States and the Persian Empire.  

Starring: Lena Headey Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Callan Mulvey, Hans Matheson, Jack O’Connell

Perfect For: People for liked 300, and are desperately searching for the new Gerard Butler.

Release Date: March 7th

9. Grand Budapest Hotel (Wes Anderson)

Grand Budapest Hotel tells the story of Gustave H, a concierge at a famous European hotel between the two wars, and the lobby boy that unexpectedly becomes his most trusted companion.

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Saoirse Ronan, Léa Seydoux, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Jude Law, Owen Wilson, F. Murray Abraham, Tilda Swinton, Adrien Brody, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel.

Perfect For: Those who adore the magical world of Wes Anderson.

Release Date: March 7th

10. Need For Speed (High Octane Jesse Pinkman)

Straight out of prison, a street racer framed by a business associate joins a cross country race in order to exact revenge. His ex partner learns of the plan, and places a massive bounty on him just as the race begins.

 Starring: Aaron Paul, Imogen Poots, Scott Mescudi

Perfect For: Dudes who grew up playing Need For Speed on their sweet new PS2s.

Release Date: March 14th

11. Veronica Mars (Neo-Noir Mystery)

Veronica Mars has moved to New York City, wishing to distance herself from her hometown of Neptune as much as possible. Yet, when her old boyfriend is once again accused of murder, she’s forced to return to her old hometown.

Starring: Kristen Bell, Percy Daggs III, Jason Dohring, Frances Capra

Perfect For: Fans of the Veronica Mars TV series, anyone who contributed to the kickstarter campaign.

Release Date: March 14th

12. Noah (Drama Fantasy)

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Noah suffers visions of an apocalyptic flood, and takes measures to protect his family from the ensuing deluge.

Starring: Russell Crowe, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Jennifer Connelly

Perfect For: Fans of Black Swan (this is a work of director Darren Aronofsky), those who who like to see the Emma Watson + Logan Lerman Perks of Being a Wallflower chemistry be reprised in biblical times.

Release Date: March 28th

13. Captain America (‘Merican Superhero)

Steve Rogers struggles to find his place in modern world, and takes no a new threat from times of old: a Soviet Agent called the Winter Soldier.

Starring: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson

Perfect For: People who enjoy popcorn, want to see a movie on the weekend of April 4th, and say how “sick” action movies are.

14. Draft Day (Big Sports Movie)

The general manager on the Cleveland Browns fights to keep his team and his job alive on the biggest day of the NFL year. As the day progresses, the lines between his personal and professional lives begin to blur.

Starring: Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner

Perfect For: A girl who’s been trying to drag her boyfriend to the movies for months.

Release Date: April 11th

15. The Other Woman (Female Bonding Over Silly Man)

A wife, a lover, and a much younger lover team up to take the womanizer who thinks he’s duping them all.

Starring: Leslie Mann, Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton, Don Johnson, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

Perfect For: Girls who’s man is a scrub, guys who are noticeably transfixed by Kate Upton, fans of The Kingslayer.

Release Date: April 25th

16. Walk Of Shame (Trendy Comedy)

A reporter who dreams of becoming a news anchor needs to get crafty after a one night stand leaves her stranded in downtown L.A without a phone, car, ID, or money a mere 8 hours before a huge interview.

Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Tig Notaro, James Marsden, Bill Burr

Perfect For: Anyone who could relate to being a hot mess at the most inopportune of times.

Release Date: April 25th

17. Chef (Culinary Dramedy)

After losing his job at a restaurant, a talented chef opens up a food truck while trying to piece back together his family life.

Starring: Jon Favreau, Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr.

Perfect For: Foodies, people who get lunch at food trucks and tell everyone how awesome they are.

Release Date: May 2nd

18. Neighbors (Grown-up Frat Comedy)

A married couple with a newborn baby have a whole new set of problems when a fraternity moves next door.

Starring: Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron

Perfect For: 29 year-old dudes who have finally come to terms with giving up on the dream.

Release Date: May 2nd

19. Amazing Spider Man 2 (Angsty Superhero Movie)

Peter Parker is presented a whole new set of tests, after Oscorp unleashes a whole new set of villains upon him.

Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx

Perfect For: Thirteen year olds too young to remember 2004’s Spiderman 2. 

Release Date: May 2nd

20. Godzilla (Sci-Fi Action)

A giant radioactive monster, named Godzilla, invades earth and seeks total destruction.

Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Bryan Cranston

Perfect For: Fans of the original Godzilla premise, with a unique apocalyptic sci-fi twist.

Release Date: May 16th

21. Million Dollar Arm (Sports Comedy + John Hamm)

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A desperate sports agent travels to India to try and find the next big major league prospect. He brings his recruits back to the states and helps them shape their professional lives, while they help shape his personal life.

Starring: John Hamm, Lake Bell

Perfect For: Fans of Disneyfied sports movies, John Hamm enthusiasts.

Release Date: May 16th

22. X-Men: Days Of Future’s Past (Superhero Blockbuster)

Wolverine gets sent to the past in a last-ditch effort to alter the course of history, thus preventing an event that would spell doom for humans and mutants a like.

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Michael Fassbender, Ellen Page

Perfect For: Fans of broody Hugh Jackman, those very excited to see Jennifer Lawrence as mystique.

Release Date: May 31st

23. 22 Jump Street (Slacker Comedy)

Two underachieving cops are back at it, this time tasked with infiltrating a college campus to crack a fraternity crime ring.

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill

Perfect For: College kids who are really proud when they sleep through class.

Release Date: June 13th

24. How To Train Your Dragon 2 (Adventure Fantasy)

Two friends, boy and dragon, find themselves in the middle of a battle to protect the peace, recognizing that only they have the power to change the future of men and dragons.

Starring: Jay Baruchel, Kristen Wiig, America Ferrera, Jonah Hill 

Perfect For: Not unlike the song Irreplaceable, the rare type of movie that could probably be appreciated by all walks of life.

Release Date: June 13th

25. Jersey Boys (Critical Darling)

Jersey Boys chronicles the rise, the lows, and the ultimate triumph of the The Four Seasons; a group of four friends who helped define a generation of music.

Starring: Christopher Walken, Freya Tingley, Jeremy Luke

Perfect For: Fans of director Clint Eastwood, hipsters who claim to be influenced by The Four Seasons, aging members of society who are taking all the social security.

Release Date: June 27th