25 Timeless Phrases About Life, Applied To Being A Millennial

1. Slow And Steady Wins The Race

• Slow and steady ensures you miss your deadlines and get fired.

2. If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say, Don’t Say It

• If you don’t have anything nice to say, make sure she doesn’t see the group text thread.

3. Think Before You Act

• Think before you quit your job to become an actor.

4. Practice Makes Perfect

• Practice makes you just one of the 40,000 other people trying to make it in this field.

5. The One You Touch Is The One You Take

• If you drunkenly hook up, there’s a decent chance you’ll end up dating.

6. When There’s A Will, There’s A Way

• When there’s a will, there’s 42 Facebook invites from your annoying club promoter friend.

7. The Early Bird Catches The Worm

• The early bird makes you feel like a shitty employee.

8. A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned

• A penny saved is an incredible waste of time.

9. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

• Liking a political Facebook status speaks louder than words.

10. A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed

• A friend in need is a friend you need to text back with an overly complicated story about how you couldn’t find your phone for the past 5 hours.

11. All’s Fair In Love And War

• All’s fair in who makes the guest list for brunch.

12. A Leopard Can’t Change Its Spots

• A friend who forces you to watch unfunny youtube videos starring leopards will probably never stop doing that.

13. A Man Is Known By The Company He Keeps

• You probably need some cooler friends.

14. A Chain Is As Strong As Its Weakest Link

• A chain is something you thought was really fashionable back in 6th grade.

15. A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

• A selfie is worth two words: Forever Single.

16.  When You’re Bored, You’re Boring

• A Netflix account is $8 a month.

17. Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

• Anything with Jennifer Lawrence in it will probably be critically and commercially successful.

18. Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch

• Make sure your chickens are pasture raised and organic before you put them on the menu.

19.  Give A Him An Inch, He’ll Take A Mile

• Give a him an inch, he’ll take a mile, and then he’ll tell you about his Nike FuelBand.

20. Fail To Prepare, Prepare To Fail

• Fail to prepare, prepare to side-eye your friend’s scantron.

21. If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

• If it ain’t broke, it’s probably a Baby Boomer.

22. Honesty Is The Best Policy

• Subtweet if you must.

23.One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Treasure

• One man’s trash is marked up 1000% before being sold to a hipster.

24. It Ain’t Over Till The Fat Lady Sings

• It ain’t over till your phone is at less than 10%.

25. Time Flies When You’re Having Fun

• Time flies when you’re not standing around texting the whole time.