15 Things You Unexpectedly Start Doing Once You Get A Full-Time Job
13. You've always known how to procrastinate. But now you'll start hanging with the older cousin of procrastination, called "stretching out work so it seems like it'll take the entire day." When executed properly, this can be rather inspirational.
By 
Lance Pauker
1. Make productive use of your free-time. Less is more in this case, because only having 3 hours to go to the gym makes the whole thing a bit more urgent. Which makes #gettingitdone that much more empowering.
2. Somehow, someway, figure out how to “become a morning person.” This is clearly very exciting news, so you also must incessantly tell people about your recent revolution.
3. Realize that compared to your co-workers (especially those with kids), your life is actually pretty exciting. Downplaying what you do on the weekends can be weirdly satisfying–the cubicle drab can’t hold you back.
4. LEARN how to think critically, and be informed of the news…if your job doesn’t take care of this for you, your solid rotation of podcasts, internet articles, or a sudden interest to learn stuff due to lack of intellectual stimulation will get the job done here.
5. Slowly cease to concern yourself with the inner ongoings of your fraternity/sorority/campus group. It’s time and this isn’t necessarily “unexpected”, but you sort of are amazed that not too long ago, this was your sole focus.
6. Enthusiastically conduct work-related convos in social settings…something you would’ve hated yourself for doing a mere year ago, but something that now makes you quite happy. This means you’re moving forward.
7. Crave EXPERIENCES now more than ever. Providing for yourself–and working for your money–makes you realize that there is something to be gained from every situation. There are lessons to be learned from even the snooze-iest of budget meetings.
8. Treat age as much less of a barrier for relatability…as a 23 year-old postgrad, you may identify more with a 31 year-old coworker than a college sophomore. Oddly daring, oddly exciting. And since they’re older, drinks are totes on them.
9. Realize that your destiny, while perhaps bound to the institution or entity that employs you, is not at all in their hands. You learn the value of free will, and how much of it is worth devoting to your paycheck.
10. Master the buzzword game. Fun and easy to mock, but buzzwords really help you push the envelope and break through the clutter.
11. Actually learn how to talk on the phone and accomplish “adult tasks,” like setting up an event or getting your bosses laundry machine fixed. Because sometimes, your job will depend on it.
12. Actually research/take the time to figure out the best type of suit or work clothing. Dressing the part feels prettay, prettaay good.
13. You’ve always known how to procrastinate. But now you’ll start hanging with the older cousin of procrastination, called “stretching out work so it seems like it’ll take the entire day.” When executed properly, this can be rather inspirational.
14. Give people your business card, and proceed to “grab lunch with them.” As the great Mitch Hedberg once said, “I got a business card because I wanna win some lunches.”
15. Give people your business card at bars, and realize that this is a move that doesn’t always work. But you’ll also realize that sometimes it does. And when it comes down to it, all that really matters is that one time. 
