35 Things Your Boyfriend Isn’t Telling You

1. He’ll never actually grow out that ridiculous facial hair, out of fear of repercussion.

2. He secretly loves all the abbrevs that you use, and has been slowly testing them out with his dude friends.

3. He actually really loved that chick flick.

4. He didn’t think of that awesome date idea all by himself. Totes stolen.

5. He hasn’t stopped talking to that person he was supposed to stop talking to.

6. He’ll never go against your opinion of what dress you think is a better fit.

7. …but he really hates it when you wear your hair that way.

8. He freaks out just as much as you when you don’t answer his texts.

9. He doesn’t care if you go out with your girls 3 nights in a row. As long as you don’t drag him along.

10. He doesn’t like your friends close to as much as he says he does. Which is probably a good thing.

11. He’d much rather stay in than go out with you.

12. If you’re sensing he’s over the relationship, he’s probably had one foot out the door for twice as long as you’ve suspected.

13. He’s not too tired to come over. He’s just in the middle of Mad Men. 

14. He doesn’t have too much work to do. He’s just in the middle of Mad Men. 

15. He hates when you’re drunk.

16. He’s secretly just as passive-aggressive as you. If he rarely asks you to do things, when he does it means its much more important to him than he’s claiming it is.

17. When out with his high school crew, his ex was also there.

18. He’s probably lying about the amount of girls he’s slept with.

19. Though that doesn’t necessarily mean his number’s a lot higher than he told you.

20. He frequently “window shops” on his way to work.

21. He invests a lot of time into his “work flirt” to ensure his skills are sharp.

22. He wasn’t at the gym; he was napping.

23. Seeing you happy is actually one of his top 5 favorite things in life.

24. Excessive hand-holding in public makes him incredibly uncomfortable.

25. The last time he washed his sheets was…well, you don’t want to know.

26. If you bring up a dispute you recently had with your friends, he’ll have no idea what you’re actually talking about.

27. Despite inisting “not to worry about it,” he doesn’t have close to enough money to take you to that really nice place he’s taking you

28. He actually really cares what his parents think about you guys.

29. He doesn’t always want to have sex. Sometimes, he just wants to sleep.

30. He likes cuddling more than you do.

31. He cares just as much about his appearance as you do yours.

32. That surprise move he pulled wasn’t him; he snuck a look at your Cosmo when you were in the bathroom.

33. He’s despised Tequila the whole time you’ve been dating. It was a terrible lie to court your with and he will forever regret it.

34. He’s terrified of losing you.

35. But he’s more terrified of you telling him his jokes aren’t funny.