15 Ways People Who Aren’t Good With Words Say “I Love You”

Maybe it’s because they spend more time listening and less time talking, but shy people – if you can accept who them and how they communicate and not demand that they be different than they are – have a way of understanding a person with incredible depth and honesty. And when they can’t rely on words to tell you how they feel about you, how they do tell you they love you can end up being so much better.

• Keeping your favorite cereal at their apartment, and not making a big deal about it. You just wake up one morning and it’s there, unceremoniously waiting to tell you that that person thinks about you even in the grocery store.

• Not turning off a song in the car because you love it, even though they hate it.

• Turning the song up a little so you can sing along as loud as you want without feeling self-conscious.

• Actually having conversations with your close friends and parents, even though they are a little overbearing and loud and not at all who a shy person wants to talk to. Doing it anyway because they know how important these people are to you.

• When someone isn’t good with words, they develop a much broader range of facial expressions than talkative people. They have a thousand different ways of looking at you that are more loving and communicative of their feelings than any words could be.

• Giving you a book they love with their favorite lines highlighted. Sometimes when you aren’t good at articulating how you feel or what you think, you need to rely on Tom Robbins to do it for you. Them giving you a book like this is like giving you a secret code to understanding them.

• Not bringing you soup when you’re sick because it’s what they’re “supposed” to do, but thai food – because they know that’s what makes you feel better.

• Keeping a picture of you on their phone. Not a new one that they just took, but an older one where they’re obviously dumped their pictures onto their computer since they took it but they keep that one on there.

• Getting out of bed before you when it’s cold to turn on the coffee maker, or start the shower, or walk the dog – whatever little things will give you just a few less seconds of being cold and uncomfortable.

• Kissing your face or hand in a way that appears casual to outsiders but you know it’s because that – in that exact moment – they had a rush of love for you and, in the absence of the words to say it, it came out as a tiny gesture of affection. No one but you knows what’s behind that peck on the forehead, which makes it even better.

• Not only sitting through a TV show you like that they aren’t into, but actually paying enough attention to have thoughtful things to say when you want to talk about it later.

• Listening to you talk about things – even if they’re stupid TV shows – that you care about.

• Never making you feel like something you care about is stupid.

• People who aren’t good with words have a special way of being able to pick up on other people’s wordless cues as well. They always know when something as small as holding your hand without saying anything will make give you exactly the reassurance and support you need. With other people, you might have to actually tell them when you’re scared or uncomfortable or upset, or they might not know at all.

• Knowing what amount of freedom you like in social situations, and giving it to you, even if it means they have to have awkward conversations with strangers at parties, which is pretty much a shy person’s least favorite thing. Not making their shyness your burden by being attached to your hip during every second of a night out together.