This Is What Is Holding You Back In Your Relationships Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type
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Cataloged in Psychology / Myers Briggs

This Is What Is Holding You Back In Your Relationships Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

ENFP: Your constant search for what else is out there.

Life is full of exciting possibilities and prospects, and you would love nothing more to explore them all if you could. You find yourself drawn towards the people who are just out of your reach, for whatever the reason, and will chase them to your heart’s content. If you do manage to finally enter a relationship with that person, you find your mind daydreaming to what else could be out there, and it’s leaving you in a state of constantly feeling unsatisfied. You’ll never see the true potential of a relationship until you learn to appreciate it when it’s right in front of you, rather than keeping your eyes peeled for other opportunities.

INFP: Holding your partner to expectations they never knew you had.

Your quite the hopeless romantic and your partner surely knows that about you by now. You tend to feel your feelings intensely, and the way things will play out in the future in your head. However, the problem begins when your real life relationship isn’t happening the way you imagined it would and your real-life partner isn’t living up to the idea of them you had dreamed they would be. This causes frustrations on both of your parts—yours for not having what you expected, and theirs because they didn’t realize you had such lofty expectations of them. Truthfully though, no one is going to live up to the perfect fairytale romance you’ve created in your mind and you’re never going to see the true potential of this relationship and what it might become if you’re too busy comparing it to your idealistic portrayal.

ENTP: Losing interest the moment things become boring.

Contrary to popular belief, you aren’t against being in a committed relationship. You are, however, against being in a relationship when things aren’t growing, and that is understandable. Yet sometimes you interchange the ideas of “boring” and “lack of growth” and those things don’t always mean the same thing. Sometimes, relationships aren’t going to be exciting and constantly moving, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is jumping ship the moment things seem to be slowing down a bit. Those are the moments to really invest and create another opportunity to do something exciting together, not abandon the whole relationship.

INTP: Your disinterest in relationships, period.

You aren’t against being in a relationship, per se. Yet you do know relationships require a lot of effort, work, and communication with another person and you aren’t exactly going to jump out of your seat to go out and find one. You tend to think something will eventually come to you, and if it doesn’t, then you won’t lose too much sleep over it, yet you don’t seem to realize that if you would show even the slightest interest towards the person you could see yourself with, it could turn into something even better than you ever anticipated. Your lack of showing any kind of interest is holding you back, and it’s likely you’re going to look back and regret all the chances you let slip away if you keep moving in that direction.

ESFJ: Your tendency to go for people who need to be “saved.”

You have such a strong desire to care for people, particularly those who clearly “need” to be. Whether it’s commitment issues, emotionally unavailable, or any other host of complicated problems, you are drawn to those you feel really need someone to be there and take care of them. Yet this is exactly what is holding you back because you can’t save anyone, regardless of how hard you try. The only ones who can fix those people are themselves, and even if you want to be the supportive shoulder for them to lean on, inevitably it’s going to take its toll on you when you aren’t receiving any kind of love, support, or appreciation, and relationships require both parties to give and take, not just one side.

ISFJ: Your refusal to talk about your feelings when your partner hurts you.

You are one who likes to keep things calm and steady, and there isn’t a problem with that. However, relationships aren’t always calm and steady, despite how much we wish they were. We are human beings who tend to say and do things that hurt the other, maybe even unintentionally. For your part, you have the habit of sweeping things under the rug when conflict arises. If your partner does something to hurt you, you won’t tell them so because you don’t want to cause any more trouble. However, this is exactly what’s holding you back because things like this breed resentment and bitterness, until the day you break and lash out at your partner in a big way. Talking about our problems is healthy, and it’s a good sign in a relationship if you feel comfortable enough to talk to your partner when they do things to upset you. It will go a long way in keeping things happier and healthier for much longer.

ESTJ: Your insistence on your partner seeing things your way.

You are definitely someone to turn to when we are searching for efficient ways to get things done, but that doesn’t mean your way is the only way to go about things. You tend to have the idea that your vision is the most logical and therefore the most correct, and you rarely take the time to look at things from someone else’s point of view. This can be damaging in any encounter, but it’s really holding you back in your relationships especially if your partner is very different from you. your partner has ideas and a voice as well, and by refusing to take that into account, your creating a disconnect between the two of you that will only grow worse over time. Take the time to hear the other person out, and even if it doesn’t make sense to you, make the effort to try and see where they are coming from. It will go a long way.

ISTJ: Your stubbornness towards any type of change.

Fear of commitment? Not at all. Issues with loyalty? Not even a little bit. You definitely have no issue with entering and staying faithful to a relationship with your partner, and in a world full of people who can barely commit, that’s really saying something. Yet the thing that really holds you back is your stubbornness towards any type of change—in life or in your relationship. You think things are just fine the way they are, yet what we tend not to take into account is that as people, we tend to grow and change constantly and we rarely are the same person we were a few years ago. If you don’t leave room for the relationship to grow, there is no way it can ever thrive or become the long-lasting partnership you want it to be. You need to realize change isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and that it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not.

ENFJ: Your tendency to smother your partner.

You have a nurturing soul that wants nothing more than to connect with your partner, and there isn’t anything wrong with that. Yet sometimes, even with the best of intentions, you tend to overwhelm the person you’re with by constantly asking about their emotional state or what they are thinking/feeling. While having discussions like this can be very healthy for the relationship, it can also be the thing that holds you back simply because a person can only discuss these things so much, particularly so if they aren’t ones to discuss their feelings already. If you push too hard, you’re going to end up pushing the other person away without even meaning to so take some time to let things breathe every now and then.

INFJ: Your fear of settling for something less than perfect.

You don’t truly believe that anyone is perfect, yourself included, but that hasn’t stopped you from thinking about what the closest thing could be. You have the idea of what could be playing inside your head, and while you tend to come across really great options to take a chance on, you always talk yourself out of it because they just aren’t quite close enough and you’re worried if you settle too soon, you’ll miss out on the chance you’ve been waiting for. Yet this is exactly what is holding you back, because no one is going to be absolutely “perfect” for you, and taking a chance on something that seems like a really good thing isn’t a mistake. It could honestly be the opportunity you’ve been waiting for this whole time, you just haven’t realized it yet.

ESTP: Your tendency to jump from relationship to relationship, rather than commit to a person.

You aren’t exactly against committing to a person—it just isn’t nearly as fun most of the time. You tend to be a pretty impulsive person, and when you see a chance you take it and sometimes that can be hard to do when you have another person to think about. Yet while you think being in a relationship is what is holding you back, you’d be surprised at how much you’re doing that to yourself by constantly jumping around from person to person. Eventually, you are going to wear yourself down, and you won’t have a person to come home to at the end of your exciting adventures. If you’d take a moment and look around, you might find that there are people out there who want the same things that you do, and they are worth sticking it out for, rather than only looking at this moment and never thinking about tomorrow.

ISTP: Your apathy towards making any tangible kind of commitment.

You may joke from time to time that you’re perfectly content with being alone, and perhaps that’s truer than people realize. Yet even you have a soft spot in your heart, and you’re willing to try out being with a person to see where it goes. The part that’s holding you back is your apathy towards making any kind of commitment to the person you’re with. Either they are the ones dragging things along, or you both stay in a very vague and unidentified space—neither of which your partner is going to be thrilled with for long. Despite that you prefer to live on the moment, it won’t kill you to actually make a commitment towards that person that you honestly do care about. You might be surprised at what could unfold from it.

ESFP: Your desire for validation, not just from your partner, but everyone else around you.

It truly isn’t hard for you to enter into a relationship if you want one. You know all the right things to say and do to make it happen. Your partner never feels underappreciated or unloved, and that’s an incredible thing. However, we both know you tend to require an overwhelming amount of approval from other people, and this tends to hold you back in your relationships more than you realize. Whether you depend on your partner to provide all the validation, or you go searching for it elsewhere, both options put a strain on the relationship. The sooner you start to have more confidence in yourself that doesn’t stem from other’s approval, the healthier your relationships with others will become.

ISFP: Your fear of any type of conflict or criticism.

You are definitely one of the more sensitive types, and it’s something people genuinely love about you. You bring so much into a relationship, yet sometimes your sensitivity is there very thing that can get in your way. You aren’t very capable at handling conflict or criticism from anyone, particularly the ones you care about, and your solution tends to be to bolt at the first sign of its arrival. Conflict and criticism can be healthy things in a relationship and can help you later on into becoming the types of people you want to be. This can’t happen if you’re living in fear of addressing any concerns or issues due to the potential of a conflict, and truth be told, you might miss out on an incredible relationship if you let those things stand in the way.

ENTJ: Constantly putting your work/projects ahead of your relationships.

When it comes to achieving your goals, you are the one usually getting things done, no doubt about it. This tends to be true in your relationships as well—set a goal, and work to achieve it. However, sometimes you tend to put your goals and projects above your relationship, and while it’s definitely healthy to have things that are your own outside of the relationship, you do still have to take the time to care for and maintain what you’ve built with your partner. You tend to overwork yourself, and while that may seem successful to you, it’s also holding you back from really investing in your relationship, because you don’t give yourself the time or the resources to do so, and you make it clear that the relationship isn’t really on your priority list. At the end of the day, you may achieve your goals, but you also might miss out on being in a genuine relationship with someone who wants to support you in your endeavors and you may just come to regret it.

INTJ: Refusing to let your partner close to you.

Opening up isn’t exactly your strong suit, and neither is socially interacting with other people. So it’s no wonder that you don’t always have an easy time in relationships. You certainly enjoy being in the company of someone who likes to discuss ideas and theories with you, as well as someone who seems to be on your level intellectually. Yet one of the key elements in a relationship is connecting emotionally, and you’re not one to do that so easily. This is what is truly holding you back, and while you may be aware of this, you also might not be aware of what you’re missing out on if you don’t take a chance and connect with someone in that way. There are people out there who want to know you, help you grow, and care for you in a very real way if you’re willing to let them. Don’t allow your hesitation to stand in the way of something that could really benefit you in the long run. TC mark

Image Credit: Paolo Raeli

This Is What Is Holding You Back In Your Relationships Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type is cataloged in , , ,

Lacey Ramburger

I am low key obsessed with Myers-Briggs more than is probably healthy