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The True Meaning Of ‘If You Love Someone, Let Them Go’

The saying “If you love someone, let them go” can sound counterintuitive at first. It also can be very confusing to understand.

Why not hold onto them if you love them?

Isn’t love supposed to be fighting for that person no matter what?

Through the fights, the struggles, and the pain, shouldn’t we keep trying to keep the relationship going?

The true meaning of loving someone and letting them go starts with being selfless, not selfish. You may have a partner that wants to focus on finding themselves and cannot commit to a partnership right now. Ultimately, it may not be your fault.

Yes, you can definitely keep fighting and trying over and over again to be together. But, if you are both causing each other more pain than happiness, maybe it is time to let them go. Let that person grow individually in order to become a better partner, which may be for you or the next person.

When you let go of someone you love, it will hurt. It will hurt so much that you may even want to rush back and try to “fix things.” But, don’t. Let them go. Let them free. Because if you let them grow and instead of forcing them to stay in a relationship, that is love. Love is putting their needs before yours, because at the end of the day, you both want to be happy, even if it means not being together.

It takes time to get over ending your relationship. It also gives you the chance to fall in love with yourself as a person first for the next partner you encounter. The universe and fate can always bring two souls back together. Take this time to really focus on yourself and grow as a person to love better.

People change. Your relationship may not be the same relationship, and you both may not be the same people over time.

If it’s real love, then let it breathe. Let them be free as a person, and if they come back to you, then that’s how you know it’s always been real. This is what you call “freedom love” in order to let them go and be free—it’s coming from love and never hate or pity.

Lead with love in these conversations, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll come back to you. This is not a goodbye forever, just a see you next time.

About the author

Kyle Lautan

I write about self-love, dating, relationships, and mental health.