I’m Tired Of Asking Myself What We Are

To the one who I thought was the one,

At first, I didn’t think we would last long until we did. We lasted longer than I expected. Actually, things have been very different from everything I thought it all would be.

When I met you, I just wanted to explore things. I wanted to explore myself and how far I could go with a bad boy like you.

It was a challenge until I slowly changed and became a person I couldn’t recognize anymore.

I let my guard down and all of a sudden you had me wrapped around your finger.

I believed in all the things I said I would never believe in. I believed in love and how pathetic it could get once you fell deep. I thought I won’t be able to stand the waves.

I thought you’d be the death of me until I realized how tired I was.

When you’re falling in love with someone, you disregard every negative thing about them. You let the little things slip, you let them be effortless because you know your relationship is worth it. Then you’ll get to the point when you’ll finally wake up from a bad dream and reality will hit you.

You’ll realize how tired you are of everything. 

I’m tired and I don’t think any kind of rest can ever ease my tiredness.

I’m tired of wondering whether this will last or not. I’m tired of carrying you around. I’m tired of making you the center of my world.

I’m tired of asking myself what we are, so instead, I’ll ask what we’re not.

We’re not perfect.

We’re not made to be one like how we’re not made for each other.

We’re no longer in love because I know we’re just in love with the idea of love.

When you love someone, you don’t get lazy. You don’t choose anything over them because they will always be more important.

When you love someone, every little thing counts. You don’t let them feel the tiniest bit of doubt because how they feel matters more.

When you love someone, you make things work. You don’t fight for them when it’s already too late because you should’ve fought for them a long time ago.

You don’t need a wake-up call to realize all the things you should’ve done. You would’ve done them when you still had the chance.

You don’t need to see me walk out the door to realize that it’s not about what you did, it’ll always be about the things you didn’t do.

I don’t need you to fight for me now or try everything to make me choose you. I can’t stay not because I no longer love you.

I can’t stay because I already love myself more.

So here’s to you, my almost ‘the one.’ I hope the next time you call yourself in love, you already know what being in love means. TC mark