She loves with her whole heart. She feels with it too. And it kills her to give up on someone. So that’s why she often finds herself holding on. Holding on to false illusions. Holding on to fake friendships. Holding on when she should be letting go.
Because it kills her inside to lose another person. To lose the idea of the person she wants. To lose the idea of love. Because at the end of the day that’s all it is. An idea.
Because some people aren’t capable of meeting her needs. Her desires. Her expectations. So she forgives.
She forgave you even though you didn’t deserve it. She forgave you even though you broke her hurt. Diminished her trust. Ruined her night and her pillowcase. She forgave you because she wants something to believe in. Even if that person has let her down more times then she can count. She forgave you because it would have killed her not to.
To watch another person walk out of her life. That’s why she gives so many second chances. Fully knowing that person already blew the first. And probably will again.
She forgave you even though you didn’t deserve it.
Trust me, she knows. Her heart deep down knows. She knows that she can never be fully happy with the way you treat her. Despite it all, she forgave you.
She forgave you because she has seen the good in you. She knows that you’re capable of love. Maybe you are capable of being the person she needs. But you haven’t really shown that. She knows you are kind. You love your family. You talk about settling down. Having your own one day. And she holds onto and clings to that. Because she wants that too. She is so in love with the idea of you and what you can be, that she looks past your actions.
Fully knowing she will get her heart broken again. She might feel too much. She might care too much. And it has gotten her heart broken before. She knows it. But for whatever reason, she still forgives.
She opened her heart. She accepted your apology. She is willing to believe you can do better. You have to do better. Because she believes in you. She sees your potential. She believes in the best. This is why she forgave you.
She forgave you because she loves you. Because she wants to do better. Because she had to forgive you. She can’t live without you. Or doesn’t believe she can. But one day she will. She forgave you, even though you didn’t deserve it.
But that won’t always be the case. One day she will have had enough.
And once she is done, she will never look back. Because once a person hits their breaking point, that is it. She continues to give you chance after chance because she loves you. That is how she forgave you, even though you didn’t deserve it. But, that is also how you will lose her. By continuing to play the same games. One day you will lose her, and realize that she never should have forgave you.
That is how you lose her, without even trying.