Someone once told me, “If you’re not interested, just be straight up.” But it’s harder than it sounds. I’m still guilty of not responding, and letting relationships slowly die out. And while it’s convenient, it’s not exactly honorable. But, I do it. You do too.

But only when we really like someone, and they “ghost” us do we understand how cowardly it really is. Because we have hope. You see something going somewhere, just to be left on read or ignored. You thought that maybe this time it would work out, but once again you’re back where you started. And maybe it’s karma. For every single person you stopped responding to.

But when this happens, maybe it’s time to take a step back and refocus. Because you don’t deserve to be ghosted, nobody does. Why do we think it’s okay to leave people hanging? When did we become so selfish that we simply stop responding and don’t think about it twice?

Ghosting is talking to someone every day. Ghosting is mutual interest. It isn’t one-sided. It’s an attraction, a connection. When you think, “hey, this may actually work.” And then it doesn’t. Ghosting is staring at your phone. Ghosting is wondering what you did wrong. It’s second-guessing yourself. It’s honestly pathetic.

Yet, it’s extremely common. You don’t deserve to be ghosted, you deserve someone actually honest. Someone who says, “hey, I don’t think this is working out.” You deserve someone who can share their feelings, and not just hide when they are unsure of things. You deserve someone who wants you in his or her life.  

You don’t deserve to be ghosted.

But maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself too. You don’t deserve to ghost someone either. So while someone may have wronged you, start thinking about it from both sides. While dating seems to be a game these days, it doesn’t have to be. Be straight up, always. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, but stay grounded.

We live in a society where narcissism is common, and everyone is essentially out for themselves. We feel it’s okay to ignore people who we lose interest in, or don’t benefit us. When did we stop being decent people?  Be honest in how you feel, and you WILL find someone honest with you.  Don’t let those who are cowardly change how you feel about yourself. Because while ghosting may be the norm, it will never be okay.