Leaving a toxic relationship is the biggest thing you will ever do. If you are in a toxic relationship, I have one word. Leave. Leave now. Leave at the first threat of toxicity. It will only get worse from here on out.
The moment you question your relationship and the “love” you’re receiving is the moment you get out. You owe it to yourself.
If you don’t, you will lose yourself. You will find yourself lying to not only yourself, but also others. You will fight with your friends over your relationship, knowing they are right. Knowing they only want the best for you. The best that you aren’t receiving. You aren’t stupid and are aware that the relationship is toxic, but you still do not see a way out. You don’t know how you can leave.
There is. If there is a will there is a way. You have admitted what you have known all along. You deserve better. Your life will be better. You are a shell of the person you used to be, and for what? You are doing a disservice to yourself by dulling yourself for someone else. Someone who does nothing but tear you down.
How can someone who doesn’t love himself possibly love you? He can’t. He’s not capable of the love you are giving. The love he doesn’t even deserve.
Leave. Just leave. Do whatever you can. And don’t look back. Run. Run, run. Run my dear. Your life has so much potential. There is so much more then being unhappy and constantly second-guessing yourself. You’re practically in a relationship with yourself anyways. It may take time, but you will rebuild. You will be better. You will become the person you are meant to be.
Leave. Leave him. You will be happy again. A toxic relationship is just that, toxic. And you are so much better then that. So take my word of advice, LEAVE. You are better off. I promise.
Sincerely, a girl who finally became herself again.