Falling in love is one of the biggest relationship milestones there is. But is it something that can only happen once?
There’s no measure for love, just like there’s no measure for any feeling; every emotion is relative. Your love for your partner will ebb and flow with your relationship. You’re never going to feel a deep, perpetual admiration for your partner.
But what you can foster is what I believe creates more of an understanding of “falling in love” with your partner—the sharing and acceptance of your feelings. You form a deeper bond with a person when your emotions are out on the table and you witness them being accepted and understood.
If you’re looking to fall even more in love with your partner, try these feeling-focused ways:
1. Let your partner know your greatest fears.
We all worry about something in life.
Maybe we fear the day our parents pass away or worry we’ll never amount to anything. Whatever it is, that fear is a heavy burden to carry.
Talk to your partner about what your greatest fears are in life. Let them know you’re not sharing this with the hopes they can fix things; rather, you just want to be understood.
Allow your partner space to do the same.
2. Share parts of your past you don’t share with others.
I had a hard time sharing my history with depression and my eating disorders. I felt ashamed. I felt unlovable.
But our past is not something to be ashamed of; everyone has gone through something. What matters is who we are today.
Sharing the not-so-stellar parts of your past takes away the secrecy you’ve held onto throughout your life. You’re putting your cards on the table and giving your partner a chance to love you regardless.
And when they do, which they most likely will, you’re going to feel a kind of love you never thought you would. There’s nothing quite like having all parts of you loved, especially the parts of your past you don’t like.
3. Show your partner appreciation every day.
Relationships are bound to hit a plateau. When you see someone all the time, you start to become used to their presence. It becomes your new normal.
If you’re not careful, though, you can start to take your partner for granted. The days of wooing your partner in an attempt to form a relationship might be over, but that doesn’t mean you should stop showing them your appreciation.
Whether it’s a back rub, taking out the garbage, or surprising them with their favorite slice of cake, keep showing your appreciation for them. Don’t let that flame burn out.
4. Talk about your love languages.
If you aren’t familiar with love languages, you’re going to want to be.
Everyone receives and gives love in different ways; if you don’t understand how that is, I suggest you read Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
There are five ways in which you and your partner show/give love. Sit down together one day and talk about what yours are.
Knowing this information will help you show love to your partner in a way that they receive it best. The same goes for them.
5. Spend a weekend alone, together.
Let me be clear: a weekend alone together that isn’t in your apartment.
When you are always at each other’s place, you’re going to become comfortable in those environments. That’s completely fine and totally normal. But why not shake things up?
Go for a weekend trip somewhere. Do whatever it is you both enjoy and remind yourselves of how you both are when you’re doing new and exciting things.
Seeing your partner in that state is going to remind you of a part of them you don’t see often.
6. Put down your phone and simply be with them.
The more comfortable we get with our partner, the more we tend to take our time together for granted.
When you sit down for a dinner night out, do you reach for your phone while you wait for the waiter or do you have a conversation with your partner?
Your answer to that question is very telling of how present you are during your time with your partner.
Opt to leave your phone in your purse/pocket while you’re on a date with your partner. You’ll have more in-depth conversations and more meaningful interactions.
7. Learn how to communicate during disagreements.
How can you fall deeper in love with someone who is petty, yells, and gets mean with you any time you argue?
Hint: you can’t.
Instead, learn how to communicate your feelings better. Remember that you and your partner are a team. It’s not about who is right; it’s about coming to a mutual understanding.
By becoming better at arguing, you and your partner will feel safer and more understood in the relationship, terrible fights not included.
8. Tell your partner why you’re attracted to them.
No one is a mind reader. Your partner can’t magically know what it is you love about them.
Maybe it’s all at once or something you do every now and then, but let your partner know why it is you love them. Tell them how it is you knew you first loved them. List out the things that make you feel like they’re special.
Hearing specifically why your partner loves you is like falling in love all over. If you haven’t tried it, I suggest you do so asap.
If you’re willing to be open with your feelings, falling in love is something that can happen multiple times with your partner. I’d even argue it’s something we should all aim for.
Because we can all use a little more love.