Relationships are like plants. But not those frilly, alien-like ones deemed “air plants” that subsist purely off the water floating in the air. No, relationships are more like the exotic fiddle fig tree. They need some tending to once a week to keep from withering away. But to really thrive, the fiddle fig needs tending to every day, if only a bit.
Becoming comfortable in a relationship is common, though a slippery slope into taking one another for granted or letting one’s needs slip by. I assume we would all like a thriving relationship rather than a lackluster, withering one. And that is achieved by doing little things for your partner every day.
1. Ask your partner what they want.
When was the last time someone simply asked you, “What is it that I can give more of or start doing for you?” That kind of question creates a lot of space for someone that normally wouldn’t bring up something like that to speak their mind. Not only that, but it gives them a chance to think about what it is that they believe could make the relationship better.
2. Validate your partner’s feelings.
Often, in relationships, people feel misunderstood. Emotions are tricky, but one thing is for sure: you can’t negate how someone feels. Letting your partner know that you support how they’re feeling, whether or not you agree with what caused those feelings, will make them feel understood by you.
3. Allow them space for their interests.
We all need alone time, especially when we’re living with a partner. Part of a healthy relationship is having the space to be able to do activities and hang out with friends without your partner around. Allow your partner a bit of time every day to do whatever it is that makes them happy without you.
4. Remember the little things.
Grand gestures are great in the moment, but it’s the little things that have a lasting impact. Remembering that your partner has a stressful meeting on Thursday, then asking about how it went that night, will make your partner feel cared for.
5. Keep your relationship private.
Unless otherwise talked about, keep your relationship out of the public eye. You have every right to reach out for advice/help when you’re going through a hard time, but don’t blast those moments for the world to see on social media.
6. Offer to spend time with their friends/family.
Having the people your partner cherishes most come together is one of the best feelings. When you offer up to make moments like that happen, you’re creating a deeper admiration between the two of you.
7. Show your love in their love language.
Everyone has a different way of both giving and receiving love. Ask your partner what their love languages are and show them love every day. Remember that the way you show love could be different than the way they receive it.
8. Communicate openly with them.
Communication is the number one reason for divorce and relationships failing. Bottling up resentment or putting off bringing up something important will be detrimental to both you and the relationship.
9. Make them feel important.
Remind your partner how amazing they’re doing at their job. Let them know that you’re so grateful they entered your life. It’s easy to forget to let the people closest to us know how much they mean to us.
10. Work on yourself.
The best thing you can do for your partner is to be your best self. Get some sleep. Eat well. Do the things you’re passionate about. Cultivate self-love. All of these combined are the best possible things you can do for your partner every day.