The Single Factor In Relationships That Love Can’t Beat

The Single Factor In Relationships That Love Can’t Beat


I wrote a while back soul mates that find their way back into each other’s lives after fives years. And messages still fill my inbox asking if we are still together. People in love desperately looking for something to hold onto which is a blind faith that the things they feel deeply are enough to bring someone back.

But what I’ve learned lately about love or rather love that gets lost is how much time plays a factor in the happy endings we long for. And that’s hard to admit because we all want to believe love is strong enough to overcome every obstacle it faces. We want to believe that love is strong enough to beat doubts and uncertainty. But the truth is there are factors outside our control that love alone can’t beat.

Timing. Circumstances. Where someone might be mentally and emotionally. The wounds from one’s past that they’ve buried so deep, that resurface only when love presents itself. It is there they realize they can’t be what their partner needs right now.

Sometimes endings come because the other person realizes they can’t be what you need and there’s no easy way to justify or explain that. And one struggles for words that haven’t even admitted to themselves yet. On the other end of a confused heart is someone who is sure, someone who wants to understand and work through it all.

When you fall in love the other person becomes perfect and there isn’t anything they do wrong, flaws and all, you choose them and would continue to if they let you. But there are some paths one must take alone and things they need to figure out. 

When someone lets you go because they aren’t ready to be what you need and deserve to respect them for it. What they are saying is I see your worth and value and I can’t be what you deserve right now.

You deserve someone who is there physically, mentally and emotionally. And sometimes timing doesn’t allow another person to check off all those boxes.

Relationships and emotions are complicated because you never really know what’s going on inside someone’s head or heart. And sometimes people don’t voice confusion because they are trying to understand it themselves. It is hard when you have a good honest and genuine person loving you but what feels off is something inside of you.

You look at someone who loves you unconditionally, someone you still think is beautiful and everything you wanted someone to be and you know they would do anything to make this work. But that uneasiness is a sign that even the right people can come into our lives at the wrong.

It isn’t within our control.  The only thing we can control is ourselves and what we do as a result of an ending that I know was heartbreaking.

When endings blindside you and you’re sobbing uncontrollably thinking you lost the love of your life, realize fate circumstance, God whatever it is you believe in, will ensure you find your way to each other. It’s impossible not to.

Sometimes heartbreaking goodbyes are essential to finding your way again. Sometimes it is only when you lose someone can they be found. And what you find is through time, circumstances, heartbreak and chance love will always win in the end.

About the author

Kirsten Corley

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.