14 Reasons The Best Relationship Of Your Life Will Be With The Girl Who Comes Out Of A Toxic One

1. She’ll appreciate a good relationship more than anyone.

Someone who has a history of bad relationships appreciates the good ones even if it’s something they don’t see often.

She appreciates someone who treats her well because she knows what it’s like to see someone switch on and off with how they treat her. She knows what it’s like to be talked down to and belittled and controlled and manipulated on a daily basis.

So when something different comes her way, it’s almost like every moment this person does something they consider normal, she sits there and counts her blessings for it.

It’s appreciating and valuing every little thing and it’s not something she gets used to or takes for granted. Because when she looks back, she remembers how different things were when she was emotionally invested in someone who didn’t deserve her

2. She’ll never stop trying to impress you.

Someone who comes out of a toxic relationship is used to trying really hard and A. it not being enough and B. their effort never being good enough. So they keep trying.

But the truth is, it’s not about being good enough, it’s about being right enough. So when she finds someone who is right, she’s going to apply that same effort from past relationships and it’s going to blow the person away.

Her giving, caring, trying so hard is all second nature to her, she’s just never had someone meet her halfway with it.

3. She’ll always say thank you.

If there’s one word she’ll say more than any, it’s thank you. And she’s not just thanking you for what you did, she’s thanking you for respecting her. She’s thanking you for treating her well. She’s thanking you for your effort. She’s thanking you for caring. She’s thanking you for texts back that come quickly when all she knew were games. She’s thanking you for your time when others treated her like an option. She’s thanking you for your affection. She’s thanking you for stepping up to the plate and not taking advantage of her the way everyone else has in the past.

She’s always going to say thank you because if there’s one thing she knows it’s the importance of gratitude.

4. She’s never going to lie to you.

People have lied to her so many times, it’s taught her about honesty. And she’s never going to treat someone the way others have treated her. She’s going to be honest even if it hurts because she knows what it’s like to be comforted by what you want to hear.

5. She’ll communicate well.

If games and people messing with her head have taught her anything, it’s to clearly convey exactly what she thinks and feels. She’s always going to tell you when something is wrong. She’s never going to keep you guessing or in the dark about things because she knows it’s not right. She didn’t like it when people did it to her and she won’t do it to someone else.

6. She won’t judge you for the past.

She has skeletons and past she’s not proud of too. She’s been hurt more than anyone. But she’s moved forward with it.

A lot of guys don’t want to talk about their past but honestly, if that has what’s got you both here even a past she doesn’t like, she’s grateful. It’s those relationships that taught her and both of your own failed relationships and your mistakes and the things you’ve done wrong, that got you both here.

She’s not going to care about who you were but rather who you are right now and how you make her feel.

7. She’ll always respect you.

She knows what it’s like to be disrespected and treated poorly that she’s never ever going to want to make someone feel that way. So she doesn’t. If someone doesn’t respect you, she’s always going to be in your corner defending you, sticking up for you.

8. She won’t ask much of you.

It’s not that she has low expectations, she just isn’t going to be demanding. Give her your time. Give her your attention. Those are the things she values more than anything.

9. She’ll always do more than expected.

Someone who is appreciated will always do more than what is asked of them.

10. She’ll make you a priority.

Phrases like ‘whatever makes you happy’ or ‘what would you prefer’ are going to be things she says often. She’s used to putting others before herself and maybe it’s a character flaw but it’s who she is.

Her happiness has a lot to do with making others happy. She’s the girl who always says yes to things and somehow pulls off being in two places at once. While she runs herself thin sometimes, she does her best to not just make you happy but everyone in her life she doesn’t like disappointing or letting down.

11. She’ll always take responsibility for things.

She’s used to relationships where you fight. That’s normal for her. And usually, she’s the one getting blamed and yelled at for something she’s done wrong. When in reality she probably didn’t do anything. She’s used to just trying to put out the fire.

But through fights like that, where she’s always taking responsibility and blame it’s taught her about working through things properly.

The biggest issue you’ll have with a girl like this is when you’re wrong, she’s still going to apologize. It’s your job as her partner to show her, it’s okay to fight and work through it.

It’s showing her you’re not going to walk away when she messes up even if she expects you too.

12. She will never stop fighting for you but she’s not used to the same.

She’s fought for people who didn’t deserve it and as a result, finding someone who does makes it even easier and makes her value you even more. She’ll always meet you halfway with things because she’s used to doing so much more.

The thing she’s not used to is someone fighting for her. Someone standing in her corner.

The girl who has come out of toxic relationships used to holding her own and looking out for herself. She’s not looking to be saved she’s just looking to be loved right even if it’s unfamiliar to her.

13. She’s gonna be kind.

She’s used to people who are mean and that doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships but all relationships. Someone who has experienced a lot of unhealthy relationships treats everyone so well because for some reason her response to emotional or physical or mental abuse was act completely opposite.

These girls are the ones who are so nice you wonder what’s wrong with them. These are the ones who don’t seem to have a mean bone in their body. These are the ones who are called different and get attacked for it.

She’s going to be so kind because she never wants to make someone feel the way others have made her feel.

And that’s going to spill over into your relationships because you’re going see the consistant goodness that even you wonder is real.

14. She loves hard.

The truth is girls like this have so much love to give they just haven’t found the right person to give it to. So when they do find that healthy relationship, they are going all in because they’ve given so much to others who didn’t deserve it.

They love the hardest out of anyone because, despite these bad relationships, they never stopped believing in love and the right person finding them. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Kirsten Corley

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.