First you’ll start to miss her…
…when she doesn’t answer quickly like she used.
When the awkward conversation makes you feel like you’re strangers.
When she posts something and you’re suddenly finding out things on a general front with everyone else when she used to fill you in on every detail.
You’ll miss her when something good happens because you’ll want to tell her first since she was the one always the one supporting you and encouraging you and cheering you on.
You’ll miss her when something bad happens because she was always the one you could turn to and she’d pick you up every time. It was her strength that carried you. Her words that motivated you. Her actions that made you want to be better. Because she made it look so easy.
You’ll realize maybe you took her for granted. Maybe you didn’t care enough when all she did was show how much she did.
You’ll start to miss her when silence fills the air that and you’re alone and you realize only now, she was your favorite company and favorite conversation.
Then you’ll start to think about her more…
When songs come on the radio and you think of her.
When you read books and you see her between the lines.
When she moves on and starts to date that’s when it’ll hit you most, she got over you.
When you see her attention is no longer directed to you when you’re in the same room.
In all her effort and time and emotions you’ll realize then it came to a complete stop because you didn’t show her you cared or appreciated her or valued her.
When this girl who you put you first and tried so hard suddenly doesn’t anymore.
Maybe she said too much. Maybe she tried too hard. Maybe she came on too strong. Maybe she went over the top sometimes. But you realize her intensions were good. Her heart was honest. And for such a long time she never stopped choosing you. But even girls like that learn they have to choose themselves sometimes.
Then you’ll start to like her
After that, you’ll realize you like her. She’ll look at you and you’ll realize how pretty she looks being that far away.
How much she’s changed.
How she carries herself a bit differently.
How she was always good enough. But you never made her feel that way.
You’ll realize you like her when it’s already too late. And you won’t say anything because you think you lost your chance.
But even under this front she puts up and appearing like she doesn’t care, she still does. She’s secretly looking over her shoulder hoping maybe you’ll tell her everything she wanted to hear.
The truth is she’s never given up on you. Even now when she seems far away.