What Healing Really Means Because Nothing About It Is Pretty

Andrew Dong

To really heal and get over someone doesn’t just take time. It takes effort and emotions. And really ugly feelings you’ve hid because you thought it was easier that way.

It’s realizing the importance of feeling through everything and not keep it bottled up.

It’s the really hard times at first and you physically don’t think anything could hurt as much as this.

You fall into a depression and it turns you into someone you don’t recognize.

You drink more than you should to numb the pain only to realize you can’t forget someone who gave you some much to remember.

You talk about it to anyone who will listen because you’re still trying to understand.

You hookup with people you don’t care about at all and you realize sometimes company makes you feel more lonely.

You pull away and focus on yourself because as someone fell out of love with you, you’ve lost confidence in yourself thinking you were to blame.

It’s getting up and going to the gym instead of laying in bed and crying.

It’s making a healthy meal when you aren’t even hungry and you have to force yourself to eat.

It’s not downloading a dating app but rather giving yourself and the relationship the respect it deserves in allowing yourself time to heal before jumping into something.

It’s admitting you don’t even know what you want right now and maybe a relationship isn’t the best solution.

To really heal means making the choice to just get through one day then two.

It’s respecting the fact there might be days you fall a little bit behind but you still try to move forward.

But then you wake up one day and they aren’t your first thought.

Healing is understand why the relationship ended the way it did. And you’re not bitter about it.

It’s not blaming yourself even if you were the one who was dumped.

Healing is looking back at a person and they don’t hurt anymore. Looking back at the memories you do have and being grateful and not angry.

It’s forgiving them for hurting you even if they didn’t say sorry. It’s forgiving yourself for allowing them to affect you as much as they have.

Healing is realizes if you were given the chance you wouldn’t choose them again because you understand they aren’t what’s best for you.

It’s moving on with your life and not having ill feelings towards them.

It’s running into them and it doesn’t ruin your day.

It’s hearing they moved on and it doesn’t hurt because you are happy for them. And you really do hope the best for them.

Healing is when jealousy isn’t a factor. When you can unblock them on social media and know you won’t creep more than you should.

It’s a like on a picture because even though it used to be you in those moments, you’re happy to see you’ve each moved on.

Healing is beginning to date again and not looking for them in others. Not wishing the person in front of you was someone else.

Healing are the pictures you find in a bottom of the drawer and they don’t hurt anymore to look at nor do you need to hold them so tightly.

It’s taking their best qualities and using that as a standard for future relationships.

Healing is ugly. It’s a bunch of tears you’re embarrassed to cry. It’s thinking you’re weak for feeling things so heavy.

Getting over relationships is even uglier.

And trying again takes bravery.

But one day you meet someone and you realize this is exactly why your relationship ended. And the cycle restarts itself as you wake up to a text from someone new that you just want to know better. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

Keep up with Kirsten on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and kirstencorley.com

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