Before You Hurt Her, Know You’ll Regret It

God & Man

Know she thought you were different.
She thought you were one of the good ones.
She thought she could trust you.

So as apprehensive as she was she took one step forward.
Then two.
Watching her back with every move.
Carefully analyzing everything.

Caught somewhere between her heart and head.
She had to repeat over and over again.
Don’t fall too fast because he might not catch you.

Before you lead her on, know this.

Know how many guys did before you.
Know whatever she might have gave you, was her best
Regardless of how she got hurt.

Know that when you told her everything she wanted to hear.
She believed you.
And she was honest.

Before you text her when you’re bored, know this.

Know she’s happy to hear from you.
In fact, it probably made her day.

When she’s asking you questions and keeping the conversation going
She’s remembering the little things you say.

And she might answer too quickly.
Or care too much.
But it’s a flaw in you for not seeing that as her strength.

Before you cancel on her last minute, know this.

She’s probably already dressed and ready.
She’s probably been looking forward to this all week.

She’s probably reminded herself don’t get your hopes up yet.
Just in case.

Hope for the best but expect the worst.
But hoping you might surprise her.

Before you make up some excuse, know this.

She’ll believe your excuses because she wants to be right about you.
She’ll give you a second chance to prove maybe you’re worth it.
She wants you to be worth it.

She’ll say it’s okay when you say I’m sorry.
But what she isn’t saying is I’ve heard this before.
I’ve seen this play out.

Before you ignore her, know this.

Remember how she never ignored you.
Even when she was busy.

She’ll stare at her phone every few seconds
Wondering what she might have said or done wrong.
She’ll contemplate sending another text even though she won’t.
She’ll try and keep busy just to keep her mind off it.
But it’s consuming her.

Because when the only attention that matters
is from the person you’re not getting it from
it sucks.

Before you use her just for sex know this.

So many guys have before you.
And when you’re done she’ll lay her hoping this time it’s different.
Hoping maybe this time it’s more.
Hoping that when she leaves, she’ll hear from you again.
But she won’t expect to.

Before you ruin her day, know this.

Whatever bomb it is, you’re going to drop on her she doesn’t deserve it.

So choose your words carefully.

Know she’s going to reread what you said over and over again.
Holding back tears.
She’s going to analyze it to the core trying to see where you came from.
She’s going to talk to her friends and feel horrible for days.
She’s going to blame herself.
She’s going to say sorry.
She’s going to try and make it right.

Without realizing at first you were wrong not her.

Before you end it, know this.

If you end it with an explanation.
Or not explaining yourself at all.
Whether you tell her to her face or not.

She’s not going to hate you for it.
She’s not going to say anything mean back.
Even if you deserve it.
But she’ll accept it.

And in time she will get over it.
She might crawl up into a ball and cry.
But she will get over it.

She might hold back tears at work
Pretending things are fine when they aren’t.
But she will get over it.

She might turn red when you run into each other.
Trying to play it cool.
But she will get over it.

She might want to text you.
But that feeling she’ll let pass.
And she will get over it.

And she might want an explanation.
But she knows sometimes even when you deserve it.
She won’t get that or the closure she needs.

Before you decide you made a mistake, know this.

When you decide enough time has passed and she might have forgotten.
Know she hasn’t.

When you’re bored and alone and you miss her.
Wondering if she feels the same way.
She might have at one point.
But she doesn’t anymore.

When you run into her and she looks prettier and happier.
And you suddenly want her.
Don’t.

When you meet someone else and you look at them and see her.
Realizing how different she was.
Don’t tell her that.

And when you get drunk and you draft a text and contemplate sending it.
Don’t.

Because you left her analyzing every mistake she could have made.
Only to realize she really didn’t do anything wrong other than care.

You’re the one who made the mistake not her.

And she’s going to walk away not remembering you at all.
Just add your name to another list of people who wronged her.
But remember how you were exactly like everyone else.
And she was made the fool for thinking you were different.
TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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