You Didn’t Just Cheat On Her

Cheating
God & Man

I sat across the table looking at her just wondering how could anyone cheat on her?

How could someone not see her and see everything good and beautiful about her.

But more than that what hurt me was you took someone so beautiful and made them question themselves.

You made her look at her reflection as if it was tainted.

You made her look at herself thinking something wasn’t good enough.

But in reality, it wasn’t that she wasn’t good enough. It was you weren’t up to her standard of learning to appreciate someone like that.

To cheat on her meant you didn’t respect her.

To cheat on her meant you didn’t respect your history.

To cheat on her meant you were willing to throw everything you had built up to that point away like it meant nothing.

And maybe it was just a hookup or some one night stand with someone you wouldn’t see again. Maybe you gave into weak willed temptations. Maybe you thought you should be coy and it wouldn’t catch up to you.

But the truth always has a way of coming out. And no matter how ugly it is someone gets hurt and most the time it’s the person who didn’t deserve it.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

Any trust she had in herself and in others you stole.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

Any faith she had in love you turned into something ugly.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

Any self respect and self love she had, you stole from her.

Because she believed in you.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

You stole any dream she had of a future she thought was clear.

Now she lies awake alone crying herself to sleep because the pain you’ve caused her is unlike anything you’ve ever known.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

You ruined every relationship in her future because now she questions everyone’s motives and thinking when they’ll suddenly shift.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

You forced her to build walls to protect herself.

But she’s isolating herself and not letting anyone in because she’s afraid to let anyone that close again.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

You taught her about deception and learning how to lie.

Now when people ask how she’s doing she says fine.

But behind that smile is pain and tears and heartbreak.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

You destroyed her. You turned her into someone she doesn’t even recognize.

Someone whose has fallen apart because of someone else’s touch.

A touch that never used to hurt.

A touch that used to feel like home.

A body she had memorized in the dark. And every curve she knew. Now it’s like she’s navigating blind.

Your eyes used to make her feel safe.

But you robbed her of that security.

You stole so much from her.

From the places she can no longer go because every corner reminds her of your ghost.

To every past memory where she questions what was real and what wasn’t.

You didn’t just cheat on her.

You made the biggest mistake of your entire life.

Deceiving the one who would never do the same.

Hurting the one who loved you with everything they had.

She doesn’t realize it right now but it’s more your loss than it will ever be hers.

Because one day it’ll hit you she was everything you needed.

Everything you didn’t appreciate when you had it.

And the one thing you’ll never get back.

You see, trust is like a vase once broken it can never be restored to what it once was.

And maybe you put it back together hurting your own figners in the process of picking up the shattered glass. Maybe it even looks the same.

But you’ll realize it’s her that’s changed after everything.

She’ll no longer look at you with eyes of admiration.

But rather speculation because she doesn’t trust you.

That girl you made cry who questioned her self worth will suddenly look down on you.

That girl you thought you didn’t love enough to be loyal to, will have you falling to your knees saying sorry as you try to win her back.

But it’s her that’s won at the end of all this.

Because you might have ruined your relationship but it takes more than that to ruin her.

She’ll stand tall and she’ll walk away not looking back and finally it’ll be her ghost that haunts you. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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