It Isn’t Your Fault It Ended

God & Man

It isn’t your fault it ended.

When you’ve invested as much as you have in this relationship you can’t sit here and tell me there was more you could have done.

When you gave your best. When you tried your hardest. When you loved this person with everything you had in you.

It isn’t your fault it ended.

Just because you did everything and they couldn’t meet you halfway, it doesn’t mean your effort wasn’t good enough.

What it means was, the person didn’t value you or the relationship to the extent you did.

What it means is you deserve someone who will meet you halfway because when you’re willing to go all the way for someone you love.

It means you deserve everything you’re willing to give another.

Maybe there was a time when things were different. Maybe you look back and wonder where did this love even go that you thought would last forever?

You wonder what changed. The truth is you both changed. The relationship changed. Everything changed.

The best relationships are the ones that adapt and help you to grow but the root of love is still there binding you and keeping you growing together.

But sometimes people grow apart. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.

It doesn’t mean what you had wasn’t real. At one time when you were both as invested in this thing that’s when it really worked. That’s when everything was perfect.

I ask you not to dwell on the past and wonder but instead look forward.

I would love to tell you that person will come back regretting the pain they’ve caused. I would love to tell you-you’re going to get the apology you deserve. That one day they’ll realize what they had before they had to lose it.

But sometimes that doesn’t happen. We would like it to.

But if it was a good healthy relationship up until the end, do not let your heart grow bitter. Do not let the good memories you did have haunt you. Do not look back at this relationship overcome with sorrow. Be grateful to have loved someone even if it didn’t last. So many people don’t even get to experience what love actually is. So many people are jaded and run at the chance of anyone getting too close.

The truth is when things end and it really was great while it lasted, if you love the person you’ll be happy to have had them for even a little while.

It’s not your fault it ended.

And there isn’t enough dwelling you can do in the past to change your present and future.

All we have is right now.

I know you don’t want to hear there will be someone else. You don’t want to believe you can do better. But the next person is going to be even better than the last. The next person might be the one who meets you halfway.

It isn’t your fault it ended. So please stop blaming yourself.

When you put your best foot forward and something doesn’t work in your favor or turn out as expected, you don’t analyze what you did wrong fixate upon the thing you can’t change you just learn from it. You move forward. And you hope the next time around it’s a better outcome. And when it’s right everything simplistically fits together and do better you learn to be grateful for all of it. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

This Book Is For You 👇

The cover and theme for my newest book was inspired by the concept of kintsugi. All that is dark or cracked within us has the capacity to be fixed, to be filled with light. We are never broken. We are always becoming. 

“Live a life that is driven; not by fear, but by love.” — Bianca Sparacino

Click Here

More From Thought Catalog

The People Bringing You Delicious Dairy

A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.

Meet Katie Dotterer-Pyle

Image Credit: God & Man

It Isn’t Your Fault It Ended is cataloged in , , ,