Date The Person Who Is Your Friend First And Someone You Can Love Second

Look Catalog

The foundation to every good relationship is one based on the fact the two of you are friends as well as someone you might fall in love with later.

When you start dating someone they become your best friend. The number one person you confide in. The person you spend the most time with. Your number one support system. And the person you trust most in this world. Those things have nothing to do with sex and the physical aspects that come with a relationship.

You don’t just start building a life with someone because they are attractive and good in bed, those are bonuses.

Yeah, physical attraction and desire need to be there, first and foremost but people don’t stay together just for that reason alone. You stay together because of who you are. You stay together because of how you complement each other. You stay together because you’re better together than you are alone.

Find someone who is going to make you a better person.

And I don’t just mean happier. Someone who is going to influence you to become the best version of yourself. Someone who is going to support you and your ideas and your goals and ambitions when no one else does. Someone who is going to believe in you and your ability like they believe in themselves.

Find someone who is going to make the best teammate.

The best cheerleader. The person who turns ideas into reality because together nothing stops you. Find someone who wants to learn from you. Who values your opinion. Someone who listens even when you’re speaking in a whisper.

Find someone who understands your silence.

Someone who understands the words you use and what you actually mean sometimes when you say them. Find someone who watches you so closely they can tell when something is wrong. Even if it’s just through a text message or a simple weird nervous habit.

Find someone you don’t get tired of.

Someone you could spend days with and you’d still miss them the second you part ways. Find someone who influences you and you notice it in little parts, from the things you newly like and want to learn about, to the phrases you say. There are moments you’ll catch yourself picking up on little phrases or how you say certain words and evident their influence is there.

Find someone who forgives you for your mistakes.

When you mess up and they are angry and you aren’t just mad at yourself for making a mistake, you hate yourself for hurting or disappointing them. And when you think they are going to walk away and maybe they have every reason to, they turn around and bring you in and tell you it’s okay. They still love you. From there they help you to learn from your mistakes.

Find someone who doesn’t give up on you.

Even when you give up on yourself, even when you push everyone else away. Even when you aren’t a version of yourself you’re proud of, find the person who stays. The person who says I don’t care what you say or do I’m not going anywhere.

Find the person who makes you believe in people again.

Because maybe you were a loner, maybe you feared letting anyone close, so you push them away. But when you find someone who breaks through every part of who you are, when all you tried to do was guard yourself and your heart, don’t let those people go. The ones who understand how scary it is to be vulnerable but they lead by example showing you, they are the ones you could trust.

Find someone who is a straight shooter.

They aren’t afraid to tell you exactly how they feel. They aren’t afraid to tell you, I love you, you fucked up but you’re still the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Someone who throws these emotions at you but it’s not overwhelming, it makes you feel more whole than you ever did before.

Find someone who is going to make you better.

The person who motivates you to want to be the best version of yourself. Find someone who is a work in progress and help them to improve. Help them to see their potential. Help them to achieve things they didn’t think they could. But with your love and encouragement, they get there. And when they become a better version of themselves and suddenly everyone sees them, be the one who saw it first.

Find someone who wants to build something great with you.

Your life. Your love. Your career. Your goals. Your future. Someone who is willing to invest in all aspects that are you. Someone who will work as hard as you will to achieve these things.

Success doesn’t happen because of a single person believing in themselves. It takes another person believing in them, motivating them, pushing them to achieve more. When you get everything you’ve ever wanted in life, it’ll be nice to grab the hand of the person who was there from the beginning remembering and looking back in moments of failure when they were the ones who reminded you get up and try again.

Find someone who is going to challenge you. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically.

Emotionally: that person who is going to learn you in ways you don’t even know yourself. Mentally: they get you to see things differently. They are telling you to read things you’ve never read or watch things, or do things you’ve never done before. Physically: they push you past your comfort zone and suddenly you’re just trying to keep up.

Find someone who is going to stay.

Someone who see you at your worst and ugliest and hardest time ever and still love you. Someone who stands with you in moments of confusion. Someone who helps you to figure it out. Someone who cares first about your happiness and will do anything to help you achieve it.

Finds someone who learns with you.

Through trial and error no matter how many times you might fail or change parts of your life they are right there next to you reminding you how special you are. Find someone who builds you up in such a way your head almost gets big. And they aren’t trying to flatter you, they believe in you. They believe in you more than anyone.

Find someone who is different.

That person who keeps you up at night. That person who tells you these crazy ideas and before you can even think about whether it’s a good idea or not you’re already following their lead. Because there’s just something about them that’s unlike anyone else you’ve ever met.

Find someone who loves you unconditionally.

Because we are in a generation where everyone can be replaced with a single swipe. Where everyone is looking for the next best thing and no is ever satisfied. Wait for the person who realizes you are the best thing that’s ever happened to them and there isn’t doing better than you.

Find someone who is never going to quit you.

At the end of the day, that’s what it comes down to. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

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