It always fascinates me to see how differently I myself and girlfriends handle getting hurt compared to my guy friends.
I always wonder is there any one way which is better to handle it? Or does one gender hurt more than the other?
Girls seem to want to talk about it. Analyze it. Reanalyze. Talk some more. Cry.
Guys mention what happened once or twice and drop it. They get drunk. They hook up with someone and they do their best to move on.
Guys are taught from a very young age to not express deep emotions. To put up a front. Pretend. Regardless of how well it might appear like they are doing, only they know if they are hurting.
Girls, on the other hand, will advertise their pain like it’s some tattoo to flaunt. From certain things, they share to using social media to cope. When you have an army of girls behind you, supporting you and telling you it’s their loss, that support helps.
But guys don’t have that. Guys might listen to sad songs that are conveying everything they feel but they aren’t sharing it on their Facebook wall.
Guys might be falling a part but we’ll never know.
Guy have themselves and their buddies on a night out and just how well they can handle alcohol mixed with the emotions and hiding it.
I truly believe when guys get hurt they take it a lot harder than girls do. I think they take it harder than we realize. They just aren’t showing it. Because it’s not just a breakup or rejection it’s a blow to their ego too.
Girls are taught at that same young age how to navigate through pain and feel through things. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to break down in public drunk and crying in the girl’s room.
Imagine if a guy did that?
When guys who are naturally more guarded give their best and their whole heart to someone it’s a deflating blow being met with rejection. It hurts like hell when you hear her say she’s not ready then you go and watch her date someone else.
It hurts like hell because I know you are looking in the mirror and as confident as you might appear to be and as well as you carry yourself and the fact you can get anyone else you want and you know that, hurts because the one person you want doesn’t want you.
But trust me when I say she will regret it. Trust me when I say she will look back and you a realize the mistake she made.
When guys give their best to someone they deem worthy of receiving it, even someone who appeared as the biggest asshole comes across as decent and a good guy. Because under the surface of emotions they hide guys are good.
It just takes the right woman to make him be that.
I truly believe pain they’ve endured dictates how they act and what they do show of themselves.
Show me an asshole and I’ll show you a guy who got hurt by the love of his life.
Show me someone who is sarcastic and quick, I’ll show you someone who is insecure and hiding that through making people laugh.
Show me a player and I’ll show you a guy who got beat at his own game.
But regardless of what type of front guys might appear to have, I do believe regardless of your gender or preference everyone just wants someone to love who loves them the same way.
Regardless of how many times I’ve gotten hurt and by who, I don’t look at it as a flaw in them but rather me not being the right woman for him.
I think every guy secretly wants to find that girl who makes them better. So when you do find that and it doesn’t work out, guys want to close themselves off more.
Guys egos get hurt more than girls do when they are met with rejection.
So if you are dealing with a situation where you’re hurt, no matter how hard to try and pretend you aren’t. You can lie to a lot of people but I know what it’s like to feel pain and rejection and heartbreak.
I know what it’s like to go to bed thinking about one person and wishing they felt the same way.
I know what it’s like to stare at your phone wondering when you’ll hear from them again.
I know what it’s like to find any excuse to talk to them and you try and keep them in your life because you care and you hope they will one day too.
I also know what it’s like to drink yourself silly trying to forget a person who gave you so much to remember.
I know what it’s like to look someone in the eyes and think they are perfect. Like suddenly your life makes sense because they are a part of it.
But I also know what it’s like to have the best intentions yet be taken advantage of and be taken for granted.
I know what it’s like to fight to stay in someone’s life and how much it hurts when they aren’t choosing you.
So you stay busy to keep your mind off it. You talk to other girls. You date and party and sleep around. Hoping someone can fill the void they left you with.
But trust me when I say she will come around and realize what she messed up.
For some reason, people fail to understand what they have when they have it. It’s only after they lose it and realize it isn’t theirs to choose anymore do they miss the person.
She still knows she can have you if she wants you and that’s what makes you less appealing to her. Don’t give her that satisfaction of thinking you’re just waiting.
When you give your best, when you are honest and good and treat her better than anyone, it’d be impossible to not miss someone like that.
She just hasn’t realized it yet.
When it hits them, they’ll come back around and try. But by that point, you will have already healed. By the time they realize their mistake you’ll have learned to love yourself they way they should have. And this person will come back into your life saying everything you wish they said sooner when you cared. But you’ll realize it’s too late.
It shouldn’t take someone so long to realize your value and worth. Because the right person will realize it from the start. The right person will reciprocate it. The right person won’t have to lose you or hurt you to realize they messed up.
You deserve the best person there is. And I know you think this girl might have been it. But if she’s the best there is, you still deserve better.