I can’t sit here and say I’m a Linkin Park fan and I won’t hop on the bandwagon just because of recent events.
My heart breaks for him. For his friends. For his family. For his fans who are affected. But more than that for him especially. Whenever I read stories like these, I think I wish I could have spoken to them. I wish I could have been there. I hate that their final moments were that of loneliness and desperation. Desperate for searching for a way to numb the pain they feel.
Regardless of not being a fan, my heart breaks for him.
What I can say is I write very openly about suicide across the internet. I talk about it very comfortably. I think it’s a conversation that should be talked about more. But there is something about the word that makes people cringe as expected. But it is also people’s reaction which leads those who suffer to do it in silence.
It’s people’s reaction that makes everyone fight these battles and these demons alone.
If you ask me, I don’t believe suicide is the cause of death. I think loneliness is. I think pain is. I think overwhelming sadness is.
When depression plagues your mind to a point where it seems like a solution to rid you of pain, rid your family of worry, rid yourself of another long night not sleeping, that what leads to a suicide attempt.
Someone thinking they are a burden. Someone thinking they are too much to handle. Someone thinking they are alone because there is a voice inside their head feeding them lies. And they believe it. And they look for a solution. Then end everything.
But what I can tell you and anyone who has ever thought suicide to be the solution, it is a solution to a temporary problem because these heavy things you are feeling will fade away.
These thoughts you are having will pass. I ask you not to act in those moments where darkness is consuming you but just keep trying. And I know how hard it is. You look towards the future and the thought of just getting through the day pains you.
But there are things ahead, moments in your future, memories you need to be a part of. I need you to find the strength to get there.
It takes strength to feel the things you do so heavily. I just need you to channel that strength into not an outlet of self-destruction but rather finding a solution. And that solution is simply taking one step ahead even if it’s small, even if it’s slow.
We all have sides to ourselves we aren’t proud of and we don’t like and I know in those dark moments you feel like you’re losing it. But remember you at your worst isn’t you. Who you are on your best days is an indication and reflection of the real you.
So when that voice inside your head tries to tell you these lies, I need you to understand there are two voices present, one that is depression and the other that is the truth. And when you are able to decipher these voices and you are able to recognize the difference it’s only then you’ll be able to walk away from it.
Because that voice telling you, you’re alone. You have no friends. No one care. You’d be better off dead. That’s depression lying to you. Because you are not alone. And you do have a lot of people who care and need you. And so many people’s lives would be affected if anything bad happened to you. Remember that.
We all have bad days but the thing to remember is it’s a bad day, not a bad life and I promise you it will get better.
I promise you things will change.
I promise you everything will be okay if you keep fighting.
But you gotta keep fighting.
Remember I’m always a message away and you are not alone in any of this.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255