Don’t Decide You Care When It’s Already Too Late

Don’t decide you care while I’m midway through laughing holding someone else’s hand.

Don’t decide you care when it’s 2 AM and I’m finally sleeping again but now next to someone new as your name appears on my phone. And I have to hide it because just seeing your name and those feelings I thought I got over, hit me like a wave and make me feel like I’m emotionally cheating.

Don’t decide you care when you see me across the room finally drinking because I’m happy instead of drinking to forget you.

Don’t decide you care because she left and you’re feeling lonely.

Don’t decide you care when someone finally gives you a taste of your own medicine and it’s then you know what I felt like for so long.

Don’t decide you care midway through shaking his hand and we look at each other and I can see it in your eyes.

Don’t decide you care when I’ve finally moved on because it took everything in me to get over you.

Don’t decide you care when you see me smiling in a picture that I wanted so badly to be you at one time. Then you throw me a like and it’s just a reminder of what we never were and what I tried so desperately for us to be.

Don’t decide you care when I’m finally standing there confidently when all I ever did in the past was trying to change myself to appease you. But nothing I ever did was good enough.

Don’t decide you care just because someone knew my value and worth and didn’t have to fuck with me first to realize it.

Don’t decide you care when you’re midway through driving and a song comes on the radio that makes you freeze as you think of me.

Don’t decide you care when I finally muster the courage to say I love you to him and this time I hear it back.

Don’t tell me when you realize what had was right in front of you that whole time. I don’t want to hear it.

I don’t want to hear I’m sorry because I’ll forgive you.

I don’t want to hear you made a mistake because I know you did.

I don’t want to hear I love you because I waited so long for those words it destroyed me.

Please don’t decide you care and tell me. Because if you do I might say it back.

And if you do I’ll break my own heart again with someone like you.

And the honest truth is I got over you once I don’t think I have it in me to do something like that again.