Because she still loves you.
If she’s giving you a second chance it’s probably because you used your first one up.
It’s probably because you hurt her and broke her heart and made her question herself.
What I can tell you about her is despite the tears and restless nights of sleep, as you consumed her thoughts breaking her down, even more, she still loved you.
She loved you through every fight where it was her walking out in tears and you not following her.
She loved you as she watched you fall out of love with her and she held on for dear life that it wouldn’t end.
Shel loved you when you pulled the rug out from under her and she was left to pick up the pieces.
She even loved you when you walked away swearing you’d never come back and it was over.
For a while, she didn’t think she’d be okay. She held it together the best she could but she missed you.
But life had a way of moving on. And those nights she used to cry on the bathroom floor got replaced with the habit of missing you.
Because she knows people make mistakes.
She moved on and met new people and even though she was healing she still thought of you. She still compared everyone to you. But she refused to dwell in the past and hang on to a lost love that hurt.
But then one day it hit you. You missed her. And in everyone you met, you looked for her and she couldn’t be found.
Now it was you tossing and turning replaying an ending she must have hated you for.
She didn’t though. That’s the thing about girls like her, even at your worst, even at your meanest, she still loved you for all the good brought to her life. She still accepted you and your shortcoming like they weren’t much to pay attention to.
She still loved you but it was you who didn’t deserve her unconditional love.
Weeks turned into months as you typed and deleted messages, you wanted to send but you were afraid to. Afraid she moved on. Afraid she realized she deserved better. Afraid she didn’t love you anymore.
But then one day you hit send.
And I can tell you what she thought upon seeing your name across the screen. Shock. Utter disbelief. Fear.
She moved on so much she honestly thought you’d never come back. But then there you were after all this time.
Because she follows her heart not her head.
And everyone questioned her as she let you into her life so carelessly.
They didn’t want her getting hurt again. They were the ones who had to clean up the mess you made upon leaving. They were the ones drying her tears. They didn’t want her to get burnt by the same flame twice.
But she didn’t listen. That’s the thing about girls like her, every choice she makes comes from the heart and she follows it no matter how scary it might be.
Cordial conversation and catching up quickly turned into plans.
It was then as she approached you realized how beautiful she was. But more than that, there was something new about this girl who stood before you. There was a strength in her you never knew her to have before. She didn’t bring up the past or question why you were back, she simply accepted you with open arms with that same loving heart you broke.
Conversations flowed easily. She made everything so simple.
Because she lets go of pain.
But behind that strength and beauty was something you couldn’t see that she hid behind her smile. Fear. Doubt. Pain. She didn’t know why you were back but she put on a brave face because she had to, making an effort to forget.
And you realized that girl you thought was so weak for crying as you said goodbye, that girl that texted too often and called you when she was drunk, begging for another chance was anything but desperate. She was the opposite of all those things.
And she sat there looking you in the eyes and it was like she saw right through you.
You realized the only thing that changed about her was that realization she didn’t need you. That girl suddenly learned how to rely on herself and stand on her own two feet.
There’s nothing more beautiful than someone realizing their strength and worth.
You realized you didn’t deserve her but you’d do anything from that moment on to prove you did.
“I love you,” rolled off her tongue rather easily like it used to so long ago.
And you realized you loved her too. But more than that you realized it’s been her, even after all this time.