You Think He’s Playing Games But He Just Doesn’t Like You

Painfully blunt.

And I know you’re going to come back at me and say, but he said this and he did that and what do think that means? I’m sure there might even be a physical relationship between you two where he tells you exactly what you want to hear.

I’m sure there are many screenshots you can send me and that you’ve probably sent your friends in a group chat as all of them further confirm yeah he’s fucking with you and playing games but he def likes you.

That’s the mistake.

Someone who likes you and cares about you and respects you, does not play you or lead you on.

Here’s a little something about liking someone and crushes and relationships… when someone likes you, it’s clear as day. When someone wants to be with you, they are with you. When someone wants to see you, they move fucking mountains to make it happen.

I don’t care how busy he is or what his job is or what family problems are or what baggage he’s carrying from his past relationships. When he likes you he will make it work.

And if he’s playing you, he doesn’t like you enough.

And why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t respect you, who confuses you or leads you on, to think one thing then completely reverse it the next?

You aren’t here to convince someone to like you. You aren’t here to try and win them over or prove yourself.

You give your best and you hope that’s enough. Because the truth is it is enough. It’s enough for the right person when you finally let go of the wrong one.

Here’s a thing a guy who likes you won’t do.

They won’t ignore your texts then blow up your Instagram.

They won’t send you a snap then not answer when you reply.

They won’t cancel last minute or change plans.

They won’t have to apologize or explain themselves.

They won’t leave you confused telling you they aren’t ready.

That’s a cop out.

Excuses are a cop out.

You’re overthinking this and buying into bullshit because you want this to be something it isn’t.

You don’t have to screenshot everything and overanalyze anything.

If he tells you he’s not ready, that one day he will be and you should wait. Don’t.

You don’t deserve to wait for someone.

And I’ve been there. I’ve invested a lot of time and energy and emotions into people who for whatever reason couldn’t give me what I needed. But instead of walking away I broke my own heart trying to be what they wanted.

The hookup that swore we’d end up together.

The player I thought I could change.

The drunk phone cal,l that only came after closing.

The friend that cared but needed me as a friend only.

The friends with benefits who wasn’t ready for a relationship.

And the fuckbio who used social media as some pawn in a game.

The lies they told to get what they wanted while you sacrificed what you needed to appease them… I’ve been there too. I believed it too.

I’ve seen it all. And I’ve been played every possible way someone can get played.

And some call me naive. Others call me stupid.

But I’ve also seen a lot of good relationships too. The ones where I wasn’t confused.

Here’s a thing a guy who likes you will do.

They will call.

They will make plans.

They will show the fuck up.

They will answer every text and snap and message.

They won’t have to apologize because they do everything they are supposed to.

And you won’t have to apologize for anything either.

They will heal you instead of hurting you.

They will make you confident instead of confused.

They will meet you halfway.

And when you are the right person for them, they will make themselves ready.

Because when you meet the right person you care about, the only thing that matters is not losing them.

Your friends are trying to comfort you and ease the blow of the reality they see, that you are settling. So they’ll sugar coat it with he is playing games, he’s unsure of himself etc.

But I am not your friend and I’ll be blunt. He doesn’t like you.

Because any guy who likes you won’t hurt you and he won’t even give you time to be confused. Because he wants you sure of him.

And you don’t want to believe it so you look for any reason this can be something and that’s what you hold onto.

You’ll ignore every red flag.

The truth is you can’t control how someone feels about you and you can’t love them into liking you. No matter how hard you try or the things you do, it won’t change how they feel.

But what you do have control over is showing them what it’s like to live without you.

And it’s not easy to walk away. But sometimes the person you want most is the one you’re best without.

Kirsten Corley is a poet and author of the book
But Before You Leave, available here.