Why The Beginning Stages Of Relationships Are Toughest For People With Anxiety

Milly Cope

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you won’t see how many times they look at their phone but they do.

They question every text that probably took them 20 minutes to write. The minutes you don’t answer pass like hours as they wonder, ‘did I say that wrong?’ or ‘what are they thinking?’

When you begin to date someone with anxiety they are already anticipating an ending before something even can begin.

So much so, maybe they’re the ones subconsciously ruining it.

They assume it’s just going to turn out the way it always does. Some abrupt ending without an explanation or any closure as they over analyze everything trying to fix it.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you’ll notice how careful they are with everything they say. And you’ll notice how often they apologize.

The truth is they are terrified of saying the wrong things.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you’ll notice how punctual they are when it comes to being somewhere but the truth is in the back of their mind they are wondering if you’ll cancel. Actually, they are anticipating it.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you’ll notice how they pick or tap in moments they are nervous but they’ll try and play it cool.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you’ll notice how well they do at a party throwing back a shot or two, hiding the fact they are so nervous. Or they’ll drink too much.

The truth is everything will result in the next day of them apologizing for everything.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you’ll notice how much they toss and turn at night or can’t sleep. The truth is they worry about everything in the late hours of the night. They overthink and overanalyze and think about things from the past they haven’t forgiven themselves for.

The truth is they will forgive you for everything but they can’t seem to channel that into themselves.


When you begin to date someone with anxiety you won’t be able to fix a lot of the problems they cause. A lot of it is in their own head. The truth is you just have to listen.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you’ll notice how much effort they put into your relationship. The truth is as much as they are trying to convince you they are worthy, they are still trying to prove to themselves they deserve you.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety you’ll begin to learn all about them and while sometimes you might not understand everything, with every layer you pull back you’ll find yourself falling more.

They’ll hate themselves for the moments they fall apart but you’ll see their vulnerability as something beautiful.

When you begin to date someone with anxiety what you’ll learn is the root of all of their worries comes down to caring.

As much as they are cautious and don’t want to get hurt, they don’t want to hurt others either. So they build others up as best they can.

The truth is there isn’t anyone who will love you deeper, there isn’t anyone who will remind you more how much you mean to them.

They will come bearing compliments you’ve heard too many times but you’ll see an honesty and a genuine nature to people with anxiety.

In return for your acceptance of this thing they try to painfully control, comes an unconditional love that makes you whole.TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Stop searching for happiness in the same place you lost it. Change is not dismantling the old, it’s building the new.

“The main thing socially intelligent people understand is that your relationship to everyone else is an extension of your relationship to yourself.” — Brianna Wiest

“The things you love about others are the things you love about yourself. The things you hate about others are the things you cannot see in yourself.” — Brianna Wiest

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