Of The Plans I Had, Falling In Love With You Wasn’t One Of Them

 alivialatimer
alivialatimer

Love comes unexpectedly. It comes when you don’t think you’re ready. It comes when you’re still hurt and getting over something in the past. It comes into your life absurdly shaking up everything you’ve come to know. And before you can even understand what is happening, you’re already heels over head, falling fast hoping and praying to God someone will be there to catch you or better yet, fall with you.

I didn’t plan on falling in love in with. In fact, everything about you entering my life when you did, wasn’t how I wanted it to be.

I didn’t want to meet someone and I swore I was better off alone.

There were so many factors and so many reasons I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you.

That’s the thing about love, we think it’s a choice.

We think we pick who we love and it goes from there. Love chooses us whether we’d like it to or not.

I think I just woke up one day and realized it was you. It had always been you.

I woke up and realized if I could have you by my side every day I’d be the luckiest person in the world.

There is a moment before you realize it’s love you flirt with the idea jokingly, as they have been a thought more often. Then it hits you between the eyes how in deep you are. After that, there is no going back.

Maybe it’s a look that you used to not think much of but now it makes you fall to your knees. Maybe it’s a conversation where you used to wonder, now you know with certainty. Maybe it’s the tone that’s changed in your voice when you speak about them then you realize you’re looking for any reason to bring them up in conversation. It’s people seeing it in your eyes. The look of someone who has fallen completely in love without meaning to. Then you utter those three words first admitting it to yourself then others and you question if you should admit what you now know, is so strong and so true.

That realization suddenly makes them every thought in a busy every. Every first conversation you want to have when you wake up. Every last one you hope to have. That realization makes everyone else invisible around you. And no matter who you meet, loving this person puts them at a level that surpasses even the greatest of people you may know.

Because the art of loving someone transforms a normal person into perfect. Loving someone makes you dismiss every flaw they may have and replace it with an acceptance. Loving someone teaches you what being selfless really is because here’s this person standing before you and you’d do anything for them.

Loving someone comes with the risk of knowing they can completely destroy you but you take that chance anyway, overcome with more hope than fear.

That’s what love really is, a hope and a faith within someone other than yourself.

So no I didn’t plan on falling in love with you but once I did there was no denying what was true. There was no trying to hide an obvious feeling.

I didn’t choose this. And I don’t know who to thank for it but I look at you every day and I’m happy to be alive just knowing I’ve had the chance of loving someone like you. My simplistic hope and what I continue to pray for is it’s not just me that has fallen.TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

More From Thought Catalog

Image Credit: Alivia Latimer

Of The Plans I Had, Falling In Love With You Wasn’t One Of Them is cataloged in , ,