You’ll Always Be My Person, Even If I’m Not Yours

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The truth is I spent my whole life trying to find you. And it wasn’t until we met, I thought I’d be doing this alone. Life.

I found you and it was like I found a piece of me that was missing. I felt whole for the first time. And I think if we never met, I would have known you were out there. There were so many things I couldn’t make sense of, so many things I struggled with, so many burdens I thought I’d have to bare alone. Then you came and you took the weight off my shoulders and dried every tear. You were my rock

There was no making sense of some of the things that happened to us in our lives but there was a comfort in knowing someone could accept it. There was comfort in having someone’s hand to hold whenever something went wrong. As much as you were there for me, I was there for you too. You made me feel like I was never alone. You made me feel like I could do anything as long as you were beside me.

I looked at you as my person. I said I loved you and meant every word. I trusted you with every piece of my heart and thought the future would be one that was ours. Because we made it this far.

I looked at you with confidence that this would be it, that you were the one. And then you weren’t.

You said goodbye and I knew there was someone else.

You thanked me for everything as I held back tears in my eyes, fumbling through the confusion that was an ending I wasn’t ready for. Because even when you walked away, I still thought you were the one. I still thought we’d be together. But life has a way of not happening the way you think it should.

The hardest part about soulmates is sometimes you don’t end up with the one you think is yours. Sometimes they’re meant for someone else. And it’s a tough pill to swallow, realizing love isn’t enough. It’s the hardest thing to watch the person you love and would do anything for love another person.

But that’s the reality of a lot of love stories, we don’t end up with who we wanted. And we’re forced to move on because the other person already has.

So you carry a piece of them with you always because it’s possible to have your person, even when you’re not theirs. And they’ll always be your person even a little bit. You’ll always love them. You’ll always carry those memories in your heart. Regardless of who comes, no one can take back the past you shared and the moments seared in your memory.

But you’ll come to accept forever wasn’t yours to have.

And then with enough time and tears and mourning, you come across someone you didn’t expect to. You meet an individual, unlike the others. And then you realize it’s a stroke of luck not ending up with your person because this stranger looking at you, ends up with theirs. TC mark

Kirsten Corley is the author of But Before You Leave. Pre-order your copy here.

book-front

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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