To Every Girl Who Loves Too Hard And Thinks You’re Doing It Wrong, Read This


For people like me, love comes very easily. I don’t look at it as something to be won over. I don’t look to play some sly game. I simply love.

I’m so blunt it might be a character flaw sometimes.

But I give love the same way I’d like to receive it. Completely and so whole that everyone can feel it.

A half-hearted love story is only that. I’ll give people my all and my best, even if they haven’t ‘proved’ they deserve it. Because I don’t think love comes with proving something. I think you love and care and hope the person on the receiving end, values it and can reciprocate it.

But somewhere along the way in dating, that’s become and unattractive quality in people…to love people freely and carelessly just because we crossed paths.

It’ll either be the type of love that might overwhelm you at times or makes you feel the way you are supposed to.

Loved. Appreciated. Wanted. Needed.

I think it’s me, who is loving right and everyone else that is doing it wrong.

Because love isn’t supposed to be difficult.

To every person I’ve loved who couldn’t appreciate or reciprocate it, I say to you…

It’s okay. Maybe your heart was conflicted. In fact, I know it was. I looked at you so sure. It was a look of confidence and not doubt, in a generation where were told to keep people guessing. Maybe that added weighted pressure to you. Maybe I made it too easy. Maybe that made me unattractive. Maybe the play hard to get tactic worked for other people but that was never me or my thing.

I’ve always been someone who tries incredibly hard and loves even harder. It’s something that comes with random compliments and showing I care through gestures. It’s the wanting and needing to do anything for someone, even if it’s just a friend because their happiness is my own. It’s not holding back ever.

When it’s the right love, they say it’s supposed to be easy but from my experience, every happy ending comes just a little too late. That realization of what could have been always hits people like a ton of bricks. But by then, the ‘I miss yous and I’m sorry,’ don’t matter. I grew tired. I was all out of ideas. I couldn’t possibly care any more than I did. So I stopped showing it and I moved on.

Because even people with the biggest hearts, best intentions, and patience, get tired of waiting for what they know they deserve.

It’s the constant struggle between my heart and head.

It’s the internal battle of, ‘if it’s meant to be it will be’ or ‘if I want it to go get it.’

You can call it a weakness but I think loving deeply and not being afraid to show it, is a strength.

I look at feelings as something not within my control, so to show such things and act on them, I think is brave.

To love a certain way when everyone tells you you’re doing it wrong is courage.

To care deeply. To love with everything I have. To not be afraid of showing it. I know it’s a rare quality.

And to you, I say, keep loving exactly as you are and don’t let anyone change you. Yes, it hurts sometimes being this type of person but in the long run, you’ll find someone who deserves you. The reason you get hurt so often isn’t because of a flaw, it’s because you’re one step closer to finding someone worthy of being with you.

One day you’re going to meet someone who looks at you and the way you love, as a strength and not a weakness. This person will love you the way you deserve. This person will realize the value and worth of the unfamiliar and not run from it. One day you’ll meet someone who gives as much as you gave everyone else.

One day you’ll get what you deserve.

And on that day and many days after, your phone will go off and it’ll be every ghost from your past, realizing what they had but by then, it’ll be too late.

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.

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