I Miss You And You’re Standing Right In Front Of Me

 Tyler Rayburn
Tyler Rayburn

I don’t know how to explain it really other than I’m looking at you and it feels like you’re worlds away.

You look the same but everything about you and us feels different. I hate to think about endings but I have this feeling it isn’t one in my favor.

I don’t know what more I could do or what I could say to change this but it’s obvious there’s something different about us I can’t shake.

And I don’t know when this happened.

I think back to a time when everything was so simple with us.

When I didn’t have to think about how to word something before sending a text. I didn’t have to wait anxiously for a response. I remember when I knew with confidence you’d respond every time.

I remember when silences between us were comfortable and not awkward like they are.

Every time I pull you close I don’t want to let you go because with every goodbye I fear there won’t be another hello.

Something about just doesn’t feel right lately.

If you’re questioning us I’d like to work it out but it feels like you made up your mind already.

As much as it hurts me to say this, don’t let me be the last person to know it’s over.

I can’t keep standing here wondering. I can’t keep trying to fix this.

I can’t keep laying in the same bed with you, feeling this alone.

It kind of seems like the harder I try the worse things get.

It seems like everything I do is never the right move.

There used to be a time where we understood each other with a simple look. Now I look at you and it’s like you’re a stranger.

My heart is breaking and you haven’t even done anything yet. And that’s the problem, nothing has been done.

But I can’t keep missing you like this. I can’t keep wanting you like this.

I can’t keep looking back and comparing it to where we are now because it seems like two different couples.

I want you to know I love you and miss you.

But I can’t keep waiting for you to miss me back.

And where ever you go and whatever you end up doing, I hope you find the answers I wasn’t able to give you. I hope you find someone or something that fills you in a way I couldn’t.

And if ever you come back and miss me too I can’t promise I’ll still be here but I know with certainty I’ll always care because even with my heart breaking, I still love you with all the pieces. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

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