To The Next Person I Fall In Love With

 LAUREL KLEIN
LAUREL KLEIN

Maybe we know each other already and it’s going to blindside us completely. Maybe we’re complete strangers and when we do meet, it’ll be the type of attraction we just know with confidence and certainty, that that’s it.

Whoever you are and whenever this happens, I want you to know I look forward to it but there are a few things about me.

I don’t half-ass anything in my life. Not my job. Not my goals. Not my relationships with friends and family. I invest as much as I’m able to in these things and love is no exception. In fact, I hold an even higher standard when it comes to love. I value it. I respect it. And I know when people get it right, how rare and wonderful it is.

I love hard and deeply and with my entire heart, it’s how I’m wired.

I love people the right way. And if you don’t yet, I’ll teach you how.

But if you think it’s too much or overwhelming then that means you aren’t deserving of what I have to give. And that’s okay.

Everyone walks around protecting themselves and giving half their hearts away. I’m not like that. Because I don’t believe you need to protect yourself from love.

Being the way I am, I know I’m a tough person to love. That’s only because I hold love in such high regards and I don’t settle. I won’t ever settle when it comes to matters of the heart.

But I’ll admit I’m a little guarded. Someone like me has to be. As open as I am to loving people, I’m wary of loving the wrong people, who don’t deserve the best parts of me.

While I love hard, I’ve also been hurt a lot because of it.

Getting hurt isn’t bad. I look at heartbreak as me taking the right chances. With every wrong person, it gets me one step closer to the right one.

But I will test you. I’m going to push you away. I’m going to put up walls. I just want to make sure before I invest too much into someone, it’s not a mistake.

Test me too. That’s what relationships are right? Give and take. Challenging one another. Overcoming those things and working through it.

It’s through every bad relationship I’ve had, I’ve learned what a good one is. And those are the standards I live by now.

Love can’t be some one sided thing. For any relationship to work, it requires people meeting one another halfway.

Love and relationships are all about risks and chances but I’m the type of person who plays for keeps. And I know what it takes to get there.

It takes vulnerability. Having blind faith. Trusting someone other than yourself. It comes with letting someone in, even when you fear it. It comes with honesty.

That’s how we make connections

It’s telling someone about the past you regret. It’s telling them about the worst night of your entire life. It’s telling them about every bad thing that’s happened. Because those things matter and those things are important, if you want to understand another human. You gotta go there, even if it’s uncomfortable or even if you’ve repressed it. The only way old wounds can be healed is if you open them again and let them heal properly, not just cover them up.

If you tell me all those things, I promise I’ll love you more for it and I’ll love you for trusting me with those secrets.

Because without trust being the foundation of any relationship, the structure built on it will crumble to pieces.

So if you think you’re up to the challenge of loving someone like me, if you’re ready for a love that will change your life, if you’re finally ready to get it right, love me the best you can and I promise you I’ll love even better. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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