To My Fellow Women, When Love Finds You Please Stop Running From It

Roksolana Zasiadko
Roksolana Zasiadko

I know you’re scared. I know you think you might mess this thing up. I know you would rather take off running the other way than let someone in close enough to hurt you.

It takes a lot to be the type of person you are. You believe in love so much, yet you also fear it. You understand it. You respect it. You know the power it has over people when you do get it right. And that’s what scares you.

You’re afraid of something you don’t have any control over.

You’re afraid of letting someone in. You’re afraid they are gonna find out everything about you and they’re gonna take off. So you beat them too it. You think it’s easier to run from love than let someone love you.

It’s taken you this long to learn to love yourself. And trust me when I say, I know how hard that was for you. I know you had to teach yourself and reprogram all the lies people in the past have told you.

Because somewhere along the way you began to believe what they said and it began to interfere not only with the relationship you had with yourself but the relationship you had with others.

But believe me when I say they are lying.

Those voices inside your head that tell you, you aren’t pretty enough or smart enough or good enough deserve to be silenced.

I know you question love as much as you believe in it.

But you should know you deserve it. You deserve love more than anyone I know. You are someone who loves so deeply and sometimes I wonder where that even comes from.

How can a heart that has known so much pain and sadness love others so deeply?

How can a face I know has cried so many tears late at night smile and make everyone else’s life brighter.

How are you not defeated? How do you still give others hope?

But most of all how do you not see yourself the way others do?

Because you are beautiful.

You aren’t loving wrong, you just are loving the wrong people. Please understand the difference in those two things.

It’s not flaws. It’s not something you’ve done wrong.

You overanalyze things because you know at any moment someone’s mind can change. Because its happened. So you try and prepare for those types of things. You look for the warning signs so heartbreak doesn’t come as such a shock.

You let people in but not close enough out of fear.

You get to these dead ends time and time again and you think the common factor is you.

But you’ll come to learn one day everything is going to make sense. You’re gonna meet someone who deserves you. You’re gonna meet someone who never makes you feel like you are flawed or doing anything wrong. You are gonna meet someone who even if you say the wrong thing they won’t look at you any differently.

But most all you’ll meet someone who not only, won’t run but they’ll grab you not let you take off either.

You deserve that. You deserve the same love you’ve been giving everyone else. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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