I Never Gave Up On You I Just Gave Up Hoping

But in time I've come to accept what my heart doesn't want to – that you've never been mine even when I wanted you so bad to be.

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And if you asked me about the perfect picture it would be one that included you.

If you asked me for a realistic picture it’d be one where I’m sitting alone at dinner in silence and the only sound is the metal scrapping a plate as I wonder about you.

I wonder where you are and I wonder who you’re with and most of all I wonder with acceptance that it will never be me in your realistic picture of how you foresee a future.

So I find myself living in the past as memories of us dance in my mind when I used to believe it could be us at the end of all of it.

But in time I’ve come to accept what my heart doesn’t want to – that you’ve never been mine even when I wanted you so bad to be.

But wanting things doesn’t mean you’ll get them. And loving people doesn’t mean they’ll love you back.

I loved you with all I had. I loved you with all I was. I gave everything I could in hopes it’d be enough.

But all you’ll ever be is a part of a list of dreams forgotten and never achieved.

Because that’s all you ever were was a dream.

You were a fixation of what I wanted you so badly to be. But I didn’t accept you for who you were – who we were.

And all we were and all we are, are strangers on the same train heading to different destinations.

But before I go and be on my way I want you to know if you let me I would have loved you.

If you asked me to turn around I’d be the first one running.

But I know I’ll walk away and you won’t say anything to stop me. Because all we are is a dream forgotten.

And in the mist of ordinary days, the thoughts of one another will run through our minds at least for only a moment before disappearing.

Just as I will.

It’ll be then we move on. Because we were never suppose to meet. I was never suppose to find you. I was suppose to simply hope you were out there and hope for something more within the eyes of every stranger.

But now I look at them and it’s you I want to find. Because even when I’m worlds away I never ever gave up on you, I just gave up hoping you’d feel the same way. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Kirsten Corley

Writer living in Hoboken, NJ with my 2 dogs.