“And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too-even when you are in the dark. Even when you’re falling.” -Mitch Albom
And with tears in my eyes I looked at him and he could see pain behind the smile I was forcing. He could hear the undertone in my voice as it shook when I said I was okay. He could feel me shaking as he brought me in and held me close. But there was something about 2 AM that brought about raw honesty. He looked at me and said, “you don’t have to be so strong right now.”
I hated being perceived as weak. I hated someone seeing me vulnerable. I hated that I had cried.
But then I realized – being vulnerable made me human.
Crying was natural. And weak was the last word anyone would ever use to describe me.
So to you I say to the same person who feels guilty or bad for maybe a breakdown or two you aren’t weak.
Do you ever just get that feeling like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? And you honestly think like one more thing happens you’re gonna crack. Then all of a sudden you do. Like me, you might be a perfectionists. You care a lot about what people think of you. And you try so hard to hold it together.
Sometimes you just can’t. Something happens and that’s it.
It hits you like a wave that knocks you off of your feet and the next thing you know you’re drowning in your tears reaching for anything to keep you afloat.
Every once in awhile someone does save you.
But you’ve never been one who needs saving. You’ve never been someone who had to rely on others so you feel a sense of guilt for not being able to handle this alone.
Don’t feel guilty for needing someone sometimes. We all do.
Breakdowns remind us of who we are at our worst, but they also give us a chance to see who accepts us at the points when we aren’t ourselves. It gives us a chance to have someone tell us, this doesn’t even compare to who you are at your best.
Yeah some people will look the other way. But every once in awhile someone will rise to the occasion and be the rock you need in your life.
They’ll dry your tears not judging you. They’ll tell you you’re pretty when you fell anything but pretty.
Falling gives someone a chance to pick you up and dust you off and they’re the voice reminding you to try again that you’re better than this. Because you are.
You might look at yourself as weak but I just think you’ve spent way too much time being strong and that my dear is something to be proud of.