17 Rules To Follow When You’re Falling In Love
Do not fret about who loves who more. Love is not a game or a competition. If you think of it that way, you probably won't be in love for very long.
By Kim Quindlen
1. Appreciate the falling part of being in love while it’s happening. Because it doesn’t last forever.
2. And when the falling part of being in love is over, don’t be sad. Or scared. Because reaching a deeper level of intimacy with that person is even more exciting.
3. Do not fret about who loves who more. Love is not a game or a competition. If you think of it that way, you probably won’t be in love for very long.
4. Put your whole heart into it.
5. …but don’t lose yourself in the process.
6. Spend an entire day together without getting out of your pajamas. Lay in bed. Watch cartoons. Eat pancakes at two o’clock in the afternoon. Refuse to answer your phone.
7. Don’t try to hide any aspects of yourself. If you want this relationship to last, you have to be comfortable with showing them your truest, most genuine self. That includes the not-so-glamorous sides.
8. Do not feel bad about being in love when you’re around people who are not in love.
9. …just don’t slobber all over your significant other and make everybody else regret hanging out with you.
10. Don’t try to hold anything back. Don’t try to follow a specific timeline. Falling love has no designated path. It will be different for everyone.
11. Keep up with your hobbies and passions.
12. …because at some point, you’ll stop falling in love and you’ll just be in love. And you don’t want that to be the only thing in your life.
13. Hibernate with your person for a while. Enjoy this time when you are both consumed with each other. But don’t let it last forever. At some point, you have to venture back out into your social circles.
14. Remember to keep making time for your friends. Text them back and go out to dinner and exercise together and spend Friday nights in at each other’s apartments. Because eventually, you and your partner won’t be as all-consumed with one another, and you’ll want your friends around to give you a break from each other.
15. Refrain from comparing your experience to that of anyone else’s experiences. They will never match up. They will never be the same. And it will just distract you with wondering if something is wrong with your relationship, instead of just allowing you to enjoy the falling while it’s happening.
16. Don’t look at your phone while you’re talking to one another. These are some of the most important conversations you will have, even if they’re just silly and lighthearted. You don’t want to be half-present for them.
17. Fall hard. And don’t be afraid.