This Is The Kind Of Person You Should Be Dating, Based On Your Birth Order

dating and birth order


Oldest children are caretakers, natural leaders, incredibly particular, and rarely sway towards being irresponsible or impulsive. An oldest child is used to needing to watch out for everyone else, so straying from “what they know” isn’t exactly their first instinct. If it were up to them, they would call all the shots. When they said jump, someone else’s response would be, “How high?”

This is why an oldest child needs someone who challenges them and busts them out of their comfort zone. In order to have a truly successful and fulfilling relationship, and oldest child needs someone who isn’t a “yes man.” They need someone who isn’t afraid to speak up and (sometimes) over them, and doesn’t just let them call every single shot. They need a person who will bring out their youthful, fun side, and encourage them to take risks every now and then.

And oldest child is so used to being the “psuedo-parent” which is why they need someone who takes some of that pressure off of them. They’re used to taking care of and watching out for everyone else, and they need someone who will flip the tables and do the same for them for a change. When they’re with someone who is their equal, both in dominance and as a nurturer, that’s when they’ll be in a forever kind of relationship.

Somewhere in the Middle

Middle children are used to being, for lack of a better term, caught in the middle. Because they’ve grown up with such overpowering personalities on either side of them, they’re not easily rattled, can stay calm under immense pressure, and are happy to be the peacekeeper. But because they’re constantly there for everyone else, they often aren’t there for themselves. They want attention, they have needs, but have trouble asking for those things due to their own passivity.

This is why a middle middle child needs to be with someone who will be their cheerleader, their advocate, their champion. They need someone who believes in them almost more than they believe in themselves. Middle children have so much potential to make their dreams come true and to be trailblazers, but they need a partner who has their back and wants to make sure they know how amazing they truly are.

Middle children are (often) the most amenable people, which is why they need a partner who wants to make sure they also stand up for themselves and what they deserve. They’re used to being in the background or having to fight for attention, so they need someone who wants to really watch them shine. When a middle child finds someone who gives them the spotlight and lets them bloom and blossom on their own, that’s someone who they’ll hold onto.


Youngest children are raised with the belief that they can accomplish anything, that they are almost incapable of failure. This is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it makes them bold, fearless, and confident. Youngest children are the life of the party, completely exciting, and it makes people drawn to them. But, that fearless factor also lends a hand to youngest children being impulsive, obstinate, and at times oblivious to things that don’t actively pertain to them.

This is why the social-butterfly youngest child needs to be with someone who brings them back to Earth. They need someone to balance all of that energy, all of that craziness, and level it out a little bit. The perfect partner for a youngest child knows when to let them go be the star of the show, but also how to help them keep their feet on the ground.

It can be difficult for a youngest child to settle down, which is why they need a partner who is as much of a chameleon as they are. Someone who can be all over the place, but also show them that it’s fun to be more reserved. When a youngest child finds that person who can inspire them while also teaching them new things, that’s a person who will be a truly amazing partner for them.


Growing up, twins have both the blessing and the curse of having a person literally always by their side. On one hand, their twin is a constant companion, confidant, and best friend. But on the other, it’s someone they’ll always compare themselves to, and a person who makes their other relationships pale in comparison as far as closeness and understanding is concerned. Being a twin is almost an automatic personality aspect, and it’s one that’s difficult to deal with.

Oftentimes twins struggle with finding a strong and balanced relationship. They can lean towards being on the clingy side, and put a lot of unfair pressure onto their partner to be everything their twin was. This is why a twin needs a motivator; someone to push them and bring them into their own. A lot of the time a twin (especially while they’re still finding themselves) has a hard time with knowing who they are. They need a partner who isn’t afraid of that insecurity, and instead wants to help them become more sure of themselves.

It can, and probably will, take time for a twin to find a true forever relationship. But this is fine! Twins should probably test the waters more than most because it’s harder for them to know exactly who they are as their own person. Once a twin has found a partner who can see them for who they truly are, even on the days when they can’t, that’s someone they should really explore the possibility of being serious with.

Only Child

Only children are sort of a wild card. Because they grow up with no siblings, a lot of their personality is determined by their parents, their family friends, or even just the people at school who they socialize with. All of this people watching and observation makes them 1) great listeners and 2) very intuitive. They tend to be fairly hard to get to know, but are incredibly creative individuals who are fiercely loyal once someone becomes important to them.

An only child needs a partner who can really be their person. They need someone who has 100% of their trust, who they’re unafraid of opening up to and being vulnerable around. This is why the best partner for an only child is someone patient, someone unafraid of taking things slow, and someone who naturally makes people feel comfortable around them.

Only children don’t connect with many people, so when they do it’s something special and rare. They aren’t going to be the person who falls easily or impulsively; it’s going to take some time. But once they give their heart to someone and truly open up and know they can trust that person, it’ll be unlike any other relationship. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Kendra Syrdal


More From Thought Catalog